Miss Teaque's Blogspace

Κάτι κινείται στην ΚΑΕ Άρης

2009-08-28T08:12:00.000-07:00

Τα τελευταία χρόνια ακουγόταν όλο και πιο έντονα ότι στην ΚΑΕ Άρης γίνεται πολύ καλή δουλειά. Από οργανωτικής απόψεως, δηλαδή. Με άλλα λόγια, αρκετοί ήταν οι καλαθοσφαιριστές εκείνοι που δήλωναν εντυπωσιασμένοι από τον τρόπο λειτουργίας του Άρη. Δεν είναι άγνωστη η ιστορία συγκεκριμένου παίκτη (ονόματα δεν λέμε, υπολήψεις δεν θίγουμε) ο οποίος, όταν εκπρόσωπος της ΚΑΕ τον οδήγησε στο σπίτι του για πρώτη φορά – σε ένα από τα σπίτια που διατηρεί η ομάδα στο Πανόραμα – εκείνος κοίταξε γύρω του εντυπωσιασμένος και ρώτησε “με πόσους θα το μοιράζομαι αυτό;”. Όταν έμαθε πως θα έμενε εκεί μόνος του μόνο που δεν πήδηξε από τη χαρά του. “Στην προηγούμενη ομάδα μου έμενα στο μισό από αυτό το σπίτι, με άλλους δύο συγκατοίκους” έλεγε και ξαναέλεγε, υπογραμμίζοντας το ότι ο Άρης φαίνεται να σέβεται εκείνους που αφήνουν τις οικογένειές τους και τον τόπο τους για να παίξουν για εκείνον.
Δεν είναι, όμως, μόνο οι καλαθοσφαιριστές που μετράνε. Είναι και πολλά άλλα πράγματα, και μέχρι τώρα εκεί ο Άρης χώλαινε. Δημοσιογραφικοί κύκλοι μας ενημέρωναν ότι τα τελευταία χρόνια, από άποψη συνεργασίας με τα ΜΜΕ (εντάξει, ίσως όχι με όλους, βγάλτε τα δικά σας συμπεράσματα!), η ΚΑΕ δεν εμφάνιζε και το καλύτερό της πρόσωπο. Συγκεκριμένο παράδειγμα είναι ότι, όταν περιοδικό της πόλης χρειάστηκε να κάνει ρεπορτάζ για τις τρεις ομάδες (Άρη, Πάοκ, Ηρακλή), το γραφείο Τύπου του Πάοκ το κανόνισε μέσα σε μισή ώρα, το γραφείο Τύπου του Ηρακλή χρειάστηκε κάτι λιγότερο από μια μέρα, ενώ δύο χρόνια μετά, ακόμη περιμένουν το γραφείο Τύπου του Άρη να τους απαντήσει.
Όλα αυτά φαίνεται ότι βαίνουν προς αλλαγή. Γιατί το λέμε αυτό; Μα γιατί αυτό το καλοκαίρι άλλαξαν πολλά στα γραφεία της διοίκησης του Παλέ ντε Σπορ. Με ικανοποίηση και ελπίδα, λοιπόν, υποδεχθήκαμε την είδηση ότι ο Βασίλης Κεχαγιάς ανέλαβε τη θέση του υπεύθυνου επικοινωνίας στην ΚΑΕ. Άνθρωπος με κύρος, λέγειν, άποψη, και κυρίως, μυαλό και γνώση του αντικειμένου.
Δεν είναι άγνωστος ο Βασίλης Κεχαγιάς, ούτε στο χώρο της Θεσσαλονίκης, αλλά ούτε, φυσικά, και στον κόσμο της δημοσιογραφίας. Με ανοιχτό μυαλό και δημιουργικότητα, ο διευθυντής του Μουσείου Κινηματογράφου και επί χρόνια σινε-κριτικός και αρθρογράφος / δημοσιογράφος σε εφημερίδες της πόλης ελπίζουμε ότι θα φέρει τον καινούργιο αέρα που τόσο χρειάζεται αυτή η ομάδα. Εξάλλου, η δημιουργικότητά του δεν τίθεται υπό αμφισβήτηση, οι καλές του ιδέες αλλά ούτε και το καλό του όνομα στην “πιάτσα”.
Σιδεροκέφαλος, λοιπόν, και άντε, ας δούμε καμία βελτίωση.
Και μιας και μιλάμε για νέο αίμα, αυτό φαίνεται να κυλάει και στα πιο υψηλά κλιμάκια της ΚΑΕ. Ο Θανάσης Κουιμτζής είναι η καινούργια προσθήκη στη διοίκηση και από νωρίς φαίνεται να έπεσε στα βαθιά, μιας και τοποθετήθηκε στη θέση του αντιπροέδρου.
Πρόκειται για έναν καθ' όλα ευυπόληπτο επιχειρηματία που δραστηριοποιείται στην περιοχή της Σίνδου και είναι γνωστός από παλιά στις τάξεις των φιλάθλων του Άρη. Από εκείνους που ακολουθούν την ομάδα όπου μπορούν και είναι παρόντες όταν εκείνη τους χρειαστεί.
Ο Θανάσης Κουιμτζής είναι ένας άνθρωπος μορφωμένος, επιτυχημένος επιχειρηματίας, αμερικανο-σπουδαγμένος, δραστήριος, με ιδέες και όνειρα και όραμα για τον Άρη. Φίλος του Θανάση Τζεβελέκη από τον χώρο των επιχειρήσεων, δέχθηκε να βοηθήσει μόλις του ζητήθηκε από τον πρώην πρόεδρο του Άρη. Και φαίνεται ότι θα βοηθήσει, μιας και – πάλι σύμφωνα με πηγές, αχ αυτές οι πηγές μας! - έχει πέσει με τα μούτρα στη δουλειά και έχει αποφασίσει να “στρώσει” αυτό το μαγαζί, πάση θυσία!

Shit

2009-04-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Did everyone watch the news?
About the earthquake in L'Aquila??
Remember that town? That's where I was supposed to be. Remember the job in Italy I was offered and was thinking about taking?
That was there...

Nature is humbling. We take and we take, and we destroy and we burn, and we cut and we tear down and we suck the life out of this planet that has been so kind as to take us in and let us live on its back.
And every once in a while it decides to show us who's the real boss. And then we talk about "Nature's wrath" and lament lives lost and properties destroyed.
I hope we learn. We learn and respect. We respect and learn the planet. We learn the planet and fear its powers. We fear its powers and protect ourselves. We protect ourselves and live in harmony. Live in harmony with nature.
Only through respect we can do that, and we, the human race, are still, after millions of years on this planet, so far from it.

be my...

2009-03-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

be my..

be my little rock 'n' roll queen!

Snow

2009-02-21T22:15:00.000-08:00

Can you guys see the snow?

I know that for most of you it isn't a big deal, and you probably don't even like snow, cause it causes a lot of problems and all that...
But it doesn't snow that often here, and it almost never sets, so today? big day for me!
It's been snowing all morning (it's 12:47pm right now). I woke up at about 9, it started snowing about half an hour later. Nothing is white yet, just wet and probably slippery, but at least I can see snowflakes!
so... yeah...
snow!

Control

2009-02-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

I was watching "Control" again last night
it killed me once again, as it always does
Ian Curtis had been a personal icon for me, even though i was 4 1/2 when he died

What really shocks me is that this man never really got to know and realize - and I believe that he never even imagined, not to the millionth of its extent - how decisively he would change the fate of music, art, what a deep trace his existence and work would leave to the psyches and cultures of people all over the world

Icons such as him don't exist any more

Out to get you

2009-02-09T00:30:00.000-08:00

My work is killing me today. Their voices, the things they say, they just stab me right through the head, and I can’t stop them.

I took my earphones and placed them on my ears. I pushed the button and closed my eyes.

The music filled my head like only music can. I imagine the room emptying. There’s noone here but me. Now, not even me anymore.

Im so alone tonight, My bed feels larger than when I was small, back then, when things were easy. And beautiful. Now I’m Lost in memories, lost in all the sheets and all old pillows. My past is flowing by me, like butterflies, tickling my fingertips, caressing my shut eyelids, kissing my lips. So alone tonight, miss you more than I will let you know, Miss the outline of your back, miss you breathing down my neck. My breath is heavy, because I can see you. You’re standing there, by the door, so many years back, giving me that look, that stole my dreams so long ago. So deep in the past, and so near to my surface.
All out to get you, once again, theyre all out to get you, once again

It’s funny, this sweet taste a very bitter past can acquire through the years. Like all the pain is filtered away, and all you’re left with is a teary nostalgia, that walks with you everywhere you go. And, like a shadow, every time you reach out to touch it, it reaches out and touches you back. Only it can’t feel your touch. Only you can. Insecure, what ya gonna do, Feel so small, they could step on you. Called you up, answer machine, only I never did. Because you were only a dream, when the human touch Is what I need, what I need is you, I need you.

I need you...

Growing up is a bitch. Especially when all you have to show for yourself is compromise and dead dreams. Did you know that dreams never really die? Looked in the mirror, I dont know who I am any more The face is familiar, but the eyes, the eyes give it all away. They just stop their screaming in your head, and that’s when you think they have died. But all they do is crawl up on your face, dig a trench and live in there for ever. And steal their part of the gleam in your eyes. Because that’s what makes our eyes shine: our dreams. When we bury them, then we’ve nothing.
Theyre all out to get you, once again, theyre all out to get you Here they come again

Oh, here they come again… They’re after me, they’re after you, I’m after you, I was after you, I’ll always be, even when I’m not. But you’ll always be so far away… so Insecure, what ya gonna do, Feel so small, they could step on you, and haven’t they? Called you up, answer machine, when the human touch Is what I need, what I need is you

And all these years, all I ever wanted was to breathe. Let me breathe, if youd let me breathe

Theyre all out to get you, once again, theyre all out to get you

Once again…
I need you...

Home

2009-02-03T21:19:00.000-08:00

I stayed at home today, meaning that I didn't go to work. I called in, not sick, but very tired and worn out.
I'm very happy I can do this with my boss, even though I don't really like my job. The truth is, I'm on antibiotics for, well, something, and they hurt my stomach. Last night I was feeling drunk, even though I haven't drunk in ages... The room was spinning, I couldn't see clearly and my stomach was feeling like a stupid... uhm... I'll say "rock", cause no good word or metaphor comes to mind. I slept few to zero hours last night - Panos, good man, - my boyfriend, for those of you who don't know- refused to stay at his home (we were at his place when it happened, but I couldn't stay there) and drove with me to my place and stayed at my place, even though his (stupid) cat was pissed at him for leaving (I swear, this cat is human, and he hates me!), so I was feeling secure.

To stop everyone right there, before you start saying I'm sick and getting all worried and everything, I'm not sick, I just need to take these antibiotics till Saturday or Sunday for this tiny little unimportant thing I have, and then everything will be better! I just think Augmentin is a bit strong for me, but I'm already better.

I thought I'd work on my Ronda thing today, that I'm at home, but the truth is, it's already noon, and I am still watching stupid shows on TV, my brain is already mushed from watching too much Menegaki (seriously, consider yourselves lucky for not living in Greece and not having the Menegaki option when staying at home) and I don't think I can be creative in any way.
The truth is, I don't really know what to do with my time, once I'm at home, and not at work. When thinking of the prospect of staying at home, I have all these plans for what to do with my day. "I'll do this, I'll write that, I'll shop there, I'll jog here" and all that. When the time comes, I find my ass glued on my couch, I don't even carry my laptop to my desk, so my feet take turns falling asleep from sitting in weird positions, trying to make myself comfortable on a couch I only like sitting and not lying on! I need to be more organized, or I'll never finish my Ronda*.

*yes, my Ronda is a book

I am thinking of doing so many things in the future, that I am sure I won't be doing any. I am still considering L'Aquila, though my initial enthusiasm is kind of fading away... I mean, yes, I do want to get out of here, but how is going to some village in Italy and stopping what I'm doing in order to do something completely different going to help me at all? But I'm considering going to Dublin. Or London. Or even New York (though that would be truly expensive, and I don't want that). Panos said he'd consider going to Chicago with me, if we could find jobs... HEY, ANYONE IN CHICAGO, WE'RE GOOD AT WRITING, AND GREAT ON THE RADIO! ANY JOBS OUT THERE FOR US??
Anyway, I have no idea how to get a job in another country. In Greece it's all about the people you know, and I don't know anyone in Chicago.

The bottom line is, I really need a change in my life. When I was younger, these points in my life were more frequent, and when they came, I'd change boyfriends, jobs, go on trips, completely change my hair, you know the feeling? Well, I like my boyfriend (which is really a first for me!), I don't reaaaaaally want to change my hair, I wish I could find another job, but it's difficult, and I really can't afford to take another course at the NYFA, the last one cost way too much money! Plus, I feel like I can't get myself organized to think of anything, and plan anything, and I need a break from work. I still have 12 vacation days left from last year, but I can't take it yet... And 2 weeks (that's how long that is) is really not enough!

Anyway
Am I ranting?
Was that a rant?
who cares?
I'll let you in on a little secret: I typed more than half of this with my eyes closed!

A birthday wish

2009-01-26T09:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I have a birthday wish
that is a little bit different
than any other birthday wish I've given
I have a birthday wish that goes out to an angel

I wish you a happy birthday
I wish you know that you changed my life
I wish you feel no more pain
I wish you are still dancing
I wish you got to see Iceland
I wish you found that faeries exist and danced with them to eternity
I wish your days are filled with music
I wish you know you are special
I wish you are loved
I wish you know how loved you were
when you were down here with us
I wish you know you still are loved
I wish that heaven is treating you well
and the clouds you are wearing are fluffy enough to your liking
I wish I never forget you
I wish I always remember the things you taught me
I wish we had more time
and I wish one day we meet again
some day
Until then
I'll always be remembering you
every day
I wish you are well
Happy birthday

Stolen

2009-01-12T00:29:00.000-08:00

So, shoot me

i have blogger's block, so i have to do this
I stole it from Erin's blog, which rawks

What is on your bed right now? new sheets, thank you very much, yes I am clean

When was the last time you threw up? oh, during my forgotten years, that was about 10 years ago.. uh-huh!

What's your favorite word or phrase? I don't know... wait, that's not my favorite phrase, i just really don't know!

Name 3 people who made you smile today? Three??? Are you kidding? Do you know the people I have to deal with? Ok, Panos made me smile today, and Antigone, and I was laughing with (not at) Kalouda on MSN, so that might be 3 if I can count

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? I was having breakfast, realizing that I'll probably be having a bad day stomach-wise... I was right, there was pain! :D

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Trying to get the cat that found the door open and ran outside

What is your favorite holiday? Erin said "Halloween" and I agree

Have you ever been to another country? Yup, i have

What is the last thing you said aloud? "And you're singing the songs thinking this is the life and you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice it's size where are you gonna go where are you gonna go where are you gonna sleep tonight" I had mtv on

What is the best ice cream flavor? Yoghurt and cinnamon

What was the last thing you had to drink? Tea

What are you wearing right now? Shirt, yoga pants

What was the last thing you ate? Breakfast

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? This week? uhm... burberry's rain boots...

When was the last time you ran? I ran up the stairs this morning

What's the last sporting event you watched? Football games, last night... both football and... well... football, cause football is played with your feet, you know! FOOTball, get it??

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? New York, and Dublin, and Los Angeles, and Canada, cause I've never been to Canada

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace? I don't even remember, for real... My space on myspace is a dead space

Ever go camping? Every year for about 20 years!

Do you have a tan? oh of course i do, it's January, who doesnt!

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? Yes, I have, a ring, it fell off my finger while I was -DUDE!!- washing my hands, bounced off the counter right into the toilet, and I refused to stick my hand in there and get it back... what???

What is your guilty pleasure? Food, shoes and New Kids On The Block

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot? Yes... and on sms...

Do you drink your soda from a straw? Uhm... whatever...

What did your last text message say? it was a phone number

Are you someone's best friend? you bet

What are you doing tomorrow? Work, then a game, then maybe I'll go out, but then again I'm going out tonight and then again on Wednesday, so maybe just the game, we'll see

Where is your mom right now? At home

Look to your left, what do you see? Panos, his foot on the couch's back, a plant, doors...

What color is your watch? It's white with black eyes, shaped like a skull... oh wait... That's it on the right

What do you think of when you think of Australia? Kangaroos and sunny Christmases

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Uhm... no... Ok, once, but it was a thousand years ago and it was the tiniest little thing you've seen so I don't think that counts

What is your birthstone? I forgot to ask. I was too happy to be born

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru? I don't go to fast food places, period.

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate? Again, MySpace, DeadSpace

Do you have a dog? I have a cat that looks like a dog

Last person you talked to on the phone? Antigone

Any plans today? I'll try to get my stomach to rest and then go out and mess it up all over again

Are you happy? I am healthy, I have a loving family, a good man, a cat that hates me and friends all around me... I'm OK... If I was happy, that would mean I have no goals and my life is complete, and I don't really want to die just yet

Where are you right now? At Panos' place

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Panos is baking sausages and his house smells

Last song listened to? This is the life

Last movie you saw? Stardust

Are you allergic to anything? Chocolate

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My boots.

Are you jealous of anyone? I'm human, aren't I?

Are you married? Nope

Is anyone jealous of you? Why would anyone be jealous of me??

Do any of your friends have children? Actually, no.. Some people I know do, but noone very close to me

Do you eat healthy? Sometimes I do

What do you usually do during the day? I go to work, I come back home, I sometimes go to the gym, I cook, I read, I listen to music, normal things... what, you think us awesome people are not normal, like everyone else? Please...

Do you hate anyone right now? Hate?? gawd, no, why would I give anyone I dont like this much attention??

Do you use the word 'hello' daily? It would be kind of weird, considering I speak greek

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 34... shit, I'm old

Have you ever been to Six Flags? Six Flags??? eh... no...

How did u get one of your scars? Chicken pox

The 100 best English-language novels of the 20th Century

2009-01-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

This is something Richard posted, but i thought reposting it was good, cause these things need to go around

plus, i need to keep this list, for future reference.

In 2000, a board of authors and literary critics created a list for Random House of the 100 best English-language novels of the 20th Century. This is that list. I've bolded the works that I've read.

Note that these are english-language novels, and any additions to that list are more than welcome, english language or not!

1. (1922) Ulysses James Joyce
2. (1925) The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. (1916) A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man James Joyce
4. (1955) Lolita Vladimir Nabokov
5. (1932) Brave New World Aldous Huxley
6. (1929) The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner
7. (1961) Catch-22 Joseph Heller
8. (1940) Darkness at Noon Arthur Koestler
9. (1913) Sons and Lovers D. H. Lawrence
10. (1939) The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
11. (1947) Under the Volcano Malcolm Lowry
12. (1903) The Way of All Flesh Samuel Butler
13. (1949) Nineteen Eighty-Four George Orwell
14. (1934) I, Claudius Robert Graves
15. (1927) To the Lighthouse Virginia Woolf
16. (1925) An American Tragedy Theodore Dreiser
17. (1940) The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter Carson McCullers
18. (1969) Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut
19. (1952) Invisible Man Ralph Ellison
20. (1940) Native Son Richard Wright
21. (1959) Henderson the Rain King Saul Bellow
22. (1934) Appointment in Samarra John O'Hara
23. (1938) U.S.A. (trilogy) John Dos Passos
24. (1919) Winesburg, Ohio Sherwood Anderson
25. (1924) A Passage to India E. M. Forster
26. (1902) The Wings of the Dove Henry James
27. (1903) The Ambassadors Henry James
28. (1934) Tender Is the Night F. Scott Fitzgerald
29. (1935) Studs Lonigan (trilogy) James T. Farrell
30. (1915) The Good Soldier Ford Madox Ford
31. (1945) Animal Farm George Orwell
32. (1904) The Golden Bowl Henry James
33. (1900) Sister Carrie Theodore Dreiser
34. (1934) A Handful of Dust Evelyn Waugh
35. (1930) As I Lay Dying William Faulkner
36. (1946) All the King's Men Robert Penn Warren
37. (1927) The Bridge of San Luis Rey Thornton Wilder
38. (1910) Howards End E. M. Forster
39. (1953) Go Tell It on the Mountain James Baldwin
40. (1948) The Heart of the Matter Graham Greene
41. (1954) Lord of the Flies William Golding
42. (1970) Deliverance James Dickey
43. (1951-1975) A Dance to the Music of Time (series) Anthony Powell
44. (1928) Point Counter Point Aldous Huxley
45. (1926) The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway
46. (1907) The Secret Agent Joseph Conrad
47. (1904) Nostromo Joseph Conrad
48. (1915) The Rainbow D. H. Lawrence
49. (1920) Women in Love D. H. Lawrence
50. (1934) Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller
51. (1948) The Naked and the Dead Norman Mailer
52. (1969) Portnoy's Complaint Philip Roth
53. (1962) Pale Fire Vladimir Nabokov
54. (1932) Light in August William Faulkner
55. (1957) On the Road Jack Kerouac
56. (1930) The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett
57. (1924-1928) Parade's End Ford Madox Ford
58. (1920) The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton
59. (1911) Zuleika Dobson Max Beerbohm
60. (1961) The Moviegoer Walker Percy
61. (1927) Death Comes for the Archbishop Willa Cather
62. (1951) From Here to Eternity James Jones
63. (1957) The Wapshot Chronicle John Cheever
64. (1951) The Catcher in the Rye J. D. Salinger
65. (1962) A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess
66. (1915) Of Human Bondage W. Somerset Maugham
67. (1902) Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad
68. (1920) Main Street Sinclair Lewis
69. (1905) The House of Mirth Edith Wharton
70. (1957-1960) The Alexandria Quartet Lawrence Durrell
71. (1929) A High Wind in Jamaica Richard Hughes
72. (1961) A House for Mr Biswas V. S. Naipaul
73. (1939) The Day of the Locust Nathanael West
74. (1929) A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway
75. (1938) Scoop Evelyn Waugh
76. (1962) The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie Muriel Spark
77. (1939) Finnegans Wake James Joyce
78. (1901) Kim Rudyard Kipling
79. (1908) A Room with a View E. M. Forster
80. (1945) Brideshead Revisited Evelyn Waugh
81. (1953) The Adventures of Augie March Saul Bellow
82. (1971) Angle of Repose Wallace Stegner
83. (1979) A Bend in the River V. S. Naipaul
84. (1938) The Death of the Heart Elizabeth Bowen
85. (1900) Lord Jim Joseph Conrad
86. (1975) Ragtime E. L. Doctorow
87. (1908) The Old Wives' Tale Arnold Bennett
88. (1903) The Call of the Wild Jack London
89. (1945) Loving Henry Green
90. (1980) Midnight's Children Salman Rushdie
91. (1932) Tobacco Road Erskine Caldwell
92. (1983) Ironweed William Kennedy
93. (1965) The Magus John Fowles
94. (1966) Wide Sargasso Sea Jean Rhys
95. (1954) Under the Net Iris Murdoch
96. (1979) Sophie's Choice William Styron
97. (1949) The Sheltering Sky Paul Bowles
98. (1934) The Postman Always Rings Twice James M. Cain
99. (1955) The Ginger Man J. P. Donleavy
100. (1918) The Magnificent Ambersons Booth Tarkington

All right

2009-01-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

after two days of partying, not sleeping and (I'm sorry Debs, we're Greek, we can't have a celebration without it!!) food, life is slowly getting back on track (and so will I, food-wise, today!). Of course the holidays here are far from over, the celebration ends on Tuesday, but it's much lighter and far less partying...

so... i guess what I'm trying to say, is

happy new year to everybody

I really do hope this year is better for everyone than 2008 was! No one expects it to be challenge free and rosey, but at least i hope it's easy and filled with more laughter and good times!

Anyway... it's back to work for me (no work yesterday, thankfully, because I couldn't even stand on my feet!) but i can't even get myself to get dressed! I should already be there by now, but wth

Hopefully you all had a great time, and 2009 proves to be fun as well as... well... fun! :)

goodmorning everybody

Since I'll be gone tomorrow...

2008-12-24T03:24:00.000-08:00

Merry merry christmas everyone!
I hope every single one of you has a wonderful Christmas... With your families, your boyfriends, your friends, your children, your pets, your neighbours or just yourself, I hope you have everything your heart desires...
I hope the turkey's well-done
the stuffing has 0 calories
the tree is all green
the lights are bright
i hope there's snow
and it's cold
but not very cold
just cold enough
to give you this tingling holiday feeling
you know the one I'm talking about!

and i hope you are all happy
and healthy
and all your loved ones
are healthy and by your side
and they love you as much as you love them

I hope you get wonderful presents
from everybody
and I hope everyone adores the presents you bought them

Just don't forget
don't ever forget
the biggest present you will receive this year
is having your loved ones near (hey that rhymes! i rawk!)
we often take this for granted
when we should not

cherish every moment with them
and i hope
that there's moments like this for many many many
many

many many many

many many
many

many many many many many

years to come

and a dozen more

MERRY CHRISTMAS

i love you all

Newspaper under attack

2008-12-11T03:47:00.000-08:00

So, it's about 10 minutes before 5 and I'm thinking about leaving work, cause my boss has left and, you know, the minute she left everyone left, and I was there, all alone, wondering why I stayed!
So, I'm talking to Pano on MSN about this tshirt place debs showed me, and we've picked out the tshirts we like, and I'm emptying my water bottle and everything and seriously thinking about leaving.
Suddenly, there's loud noises coming from... well, I don't know at the time where they're coming from, and we start to wonder what they are. This guy says "it's probably the neighbors having really loud sex" and we laugh, but it's really not normal for us to hear such loud bangings, cause we have pseudo-ceilings, which means no contact with the upstairs neighbors... Plus we have our own entrance, seperate from the building we are housed in, so we don't have access to the usual noises of a building.
Then someone says: "you guys think there's someone down there breaking our cars?". The very second he finishes his sentence, we hear people shouting slogans from downstairs, and it becomes clear that the noises we hear are of people breaking our ground floor down.
I have never been more thankful for our lame-ass elevator, which makes it almost impossible for people to come upstairs quickly.

About 50 people - I'd say "kids", with the danger of sounding really old, cause they were about 20 years old, give or take a year or two - barged into the newspaper I work at, completely broke down the entrance, upturned all the desks, terrorized the girl working at the entrance, broke all of our windows, then went to the radio that's working at our basement - which is easily accessed from the ground floor, it's just one door - broke everything, all the computers and the studios, then they wrote on the walls, called us names, threw some trashcans on the street and left.
Oh, upon leaving, they threw some kind of gas thing in the elevator, so when it came upstairs and we opened the door, some kind of smoke filled the room, but it was nothing.

some photos:

Update - cause I only say the bad things...

2008-12-10T02:33:00.000-08:00

...today i'll say good things

Not much has happened today... Sure there was a huge general strike, and sure there were demonstrations and riots again... but everything was much more quiet than it has been these past few days...

I read what the foreign press has to say about what's happening here, and i'm afraid it's all a bit exaggerated. That's not to say that things are not out of hand, or that there's no riots, or that things are quiet... But we are not in the brink of a civil war, we are not face to face with desperation, we are not "brave rebels who don't take oppression and rise up to anyone who takes away our freedom" (I read that somewhere, yes i did)

Ok, maybe we are to some extend. And, yes, maybe we do have a smaller tolerance level than others. I do not know, honestly.
And, yes, the people who demonstrated peacefully - and there were such, and their (our) demonstrations were beautiful and creative and hurtfully intense and to the point - were outraged by the unfair killing of a young man. A killing that was the result of many things that go wrong with this country: a justice system that is corrupt and punctured. A special police force that accepts people with "special exams", meaning that anyone who knows someone can enter and carry a gun. Policemen who are given weapons without psychological evaluations and wave them around like kompolois. Policemen who are provenly "Rambos" but still allowed to carry a gun, in the most neuralgic part of a large city. Policemen who act like mafia, selling "protection" to clubs and bars, selling drugs and trafficking women and children. Politicians who live inside their own world, far from the prefectures that vote for them, granting favors to voters a year and a half before the elections, to ensure their favor and their vote. Politicians afraid to lead the people, afraid to take a stance and make unpopular but necessary decisions, for the good of this country and the people. People who believe that everything is owed to them and whatever they don't have, has been stolen from then and should be taken back: by violence or by cheating/ stealing. People who don't respect one's right to be different ("you are aderfi/queer/anarchist/communist) People who believe themselves to be leftists, and anarchists, and strive to enforce their opinions on everyone, by causing trouble, breaking and burning, attacking to kill and disrespecting other people's lives, in the most fascist way.

I can think of only a few things that could be sadder than the murder of a 15-year-old boy, by the very person that was supposed to protect him and for nothing more and nothing less than bullyism. "I'll show you", the policeman said, and took away a life that could have so much to give.
One of the sadder things I can think of is the exploitation of this tragic event by people, in order to push their own, personal, political, ideological agenda forward. Or in order to just "go out there and burn the country down, because I am mad/sad/angry/boohoohoo". Or in order to loot stores, because i need a phone/new sunglasses/a gift for my girlfriend. If you are wondering, yes, this happened.

If Alexis Grigoropoulos is watching, I am sure he will be proud of his schoolmates, his friends, and the vast majority of teenage children, who took to the streets and defended his name in the face of police brutality. He will be proud of the theatrical manifestations of support he got, with children giving roses to the policemen, asking them to let them live and protect them in peace and love, with teenagers laying half-naked on the stairs of police stations, showing the police that their lives and body's are in the hands and protection of the police, but their souls are their own. He will be proud of all the teams, who hung black cloths at the european games to express mourning, and he will be prould of his favorite team, Panathinaikos, that made it to the Top 16 in the Champions League, because, in Greece, we love sports.

But he won't be proud that so many "little" peoples fortunes and businesses were destroyed and burned to the ground, in his name.

And I am not proud that all this happened. I believe it's my fault too, though. When shit hit the fan, I choked. I got afraid and didn't go out. I set one foot at a demonstration, and not both feet. I locked myself up in my house and chose to let these people burn up my city, break and burn the main street, where I would do my christmas shoping (which I will now probably do online). I receded and allowed them to take over the city, when I should be out there, protecting what's mine, demonstrating peacefully and standing by what I believe in.

This too shall pass. I hope those who say that we are ahead of a new junta, or a revolution, are not right. I wouldn't say no to a class revolt, in fact I would probably be one of the first out in the streets. But not the way it is expressed right now. Not by people who do not respect other people's personalities.

Photo blog

2008-12-09T03:36:00.000-08:00

OK, be nice with me, I'm no photographer... plus these photos were taken while I was driving, so i couldn't zoom (can't zoom anyway, iphone won't let me!!) or center it right!

This is the traffic just out of the center, about 500 meters from the main street (Tsimiski)... It took me about 20 minutes to do that distance

This is a bee that sat on my mirror... Nothing to do with the riots, but I thought it was cute

The rioters took over the offices of the Lawyers' Union... It is common in Thessaloniki, and Athens, to do so...

Entering Tsimiski street, there was no significant damage, and I thought "what the hell were they talking about? Things are OK!"... Then I drove a bit further and I saw it! Most stores were broken or burnt - I'll show you some - and the ones that were not, were closed, on a Tuesday morning, two weeks before X-mas

This is the first Zara store I drove across

This is the second one

Marks & Spencer's didn't bother opening up today

Neither did this Alpha Bank branch

Tous bags... gone... *tears*

I took this photo yesterday, while walking to work... That is a Benetton store with its window broken...

That black hole in the middle there, that is the same Benetton store... sorry, WAS the same Benetton store!

These are a few photos I snapped... Mind you, I didn't walk through Egnatia, where the fightings were held, but Tsimiski, which is a couple of streets to the south... At this moment, more fighting is held at the same places... I hope people start to think really soon... Think people... Think!! what the fuck!!

I'm probably getting tiring and boring....

2008-12-08T05:18:00.000-08:00

...and I'm sorry...
but right now, Athens is burning up

They have set the christmas tree on fire, the whole center of the city is on fire, banks and stores are on fire, whole buildings are on fire, and just when we thought things can't get any worse, they set the ministry of internal affairs on fire
There were no police or fire department vehicles on the spot

If the government can't protect their buildings, how will they protect the citizens??

We've lost control again

EDIT: There's people trapped in the Greek Telephone Company building, where there's looting and destroying. The people fear for their lives, they called the police and the TV channels, they're begging for help. Meanwhile, fire and violence has erupted in Kolonaki too, that's right in the center of the city, the most posh part of central Athens. The Polytechnic school in Athens is under siege.In Thessaloniki the center is burning up (and drowning, cause the fire dept. has filled the streets with water, trying to stop the fires), and we just watched a store being looted live on TV. Street fights, street fires, people running and screaming... at least I found Antigone, she was not out on the streets, thank god...

EDIT2: The people from the Telecom Company are now free, the police got in and got them out

EDIT3: Aristotelous Square in Thessaloniki, the absolute center of Thessaloniki, is on fire...

41 shots

2008-12-08T04:51:00.000-08:00

A fellow journalist, Nikos Papadogiannis, a big fan of Bruce Springsteen, brought this to my attention through his blog. Bruce Springsteen wrote this song about the killing of Amadou Diallo in New York by the police in 1999. Amadou Diallo was 23 years old, an immigrant in New York, looking for a better life. One night he came across four policemen in plain clothes. One thing led to another and he put his hand in his pocket. The four men fired at him, a total of 41 shots, killing him on the spot. As it turns out, Amadou was reaching for his wallet, since he had no weapon.
Bruce Springsteen wrote this song and performed it live in 2000. The NYPD didn't take it lightly, they boycotted The Boss's concerts and albums, and so did many of his fans, who believed him to be anti-American, even a member of Al Qaeda...
Amadou Diallo's only crime was being a citizen

Here are the lyrics

(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
41 shots, and we'll take that ride
'Cross this bloody river to the other side
41 shots, cut through the night
You're kneeling over his body in the vestibule
Praying for his life

Well, is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it a wallet, this is your life
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
No secret my friend
You can get killed just for living in your American skin

(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)

41 shots, Lena gets her son ready for school
She says "On these streets, Charles
You've got to understand the rules
If an officer stops you, promise me you'll always be polite
And that you'll never ever run away
Promise Mama you'll keep your hands in sight"

Well, is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it a wallet, this is your life
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
No secret my friend
You can get killed just for living in your American skin

(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)

(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)
(41 shots)

Is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it in your heart, is it in your eyes
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)

41 shots, and we'll take that ride
'Cross this bloody river to the other side
41 shots, got my boots caked in this mud
We're baptized in these waters (baptized in these waters)
And in each other's blood (and in each other's blood)

Is it a gun, is it a knife
Is it a wallet, this is your life
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
It ain't no secret (it ain't no secret)
No secret my friend
You can get killed just for living in
You can get killed just for living in
You can get killed just for living in
You can get killed just for living in
You can get killed just for living in your American skin

(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in
(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in
(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in
(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in
(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in
(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in
(41 shots)
You can get killed just for living in

How difficult is it to understand that by criticising what's wrong and hailing what's good is the only way to make a country, a society, better?

The video

2008-12-08T01:18:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ... this is making me sicker and sicker

Some kids shot a video of the murder of the 15year-old kid -who had a name, by the way, his name was Alexis Grigoropoulos. The video is shot from a roof, you don't immediately get what's happening, but the two guys seen walking are the policemen. Keep in mind that they parked their police car away and returned to find the kid and "show him"

"I'll show you" the police"man" said and shot at him, twice. You can see how calm they both are after the killing

It is shocking...

"War" Update

2008-12-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

All day yesterday the country was on fire
There were demonstrations all over the country that broke out in violence, cars and stores were burnt, people were injured and arrested...
The Universities are closed today, in an effort to calm things down

About a thousand people went to the demonstration in Thessaloniki, which doesn't sound like much, but it is... Mainly because it's a volcano out there, waiting to erupt, and I know a lot more people wanted to join, but were afraid of the violence... We've seen violence break out during demonstrations in Greece, it happens every time and it targets everyone, people in the demonstration or out of it

There are fundamental problems in the greek society. There is an underlying rage that seems to want to break free every chance it gets. Cops shooting at kids, kids throwing stones at cops, that's normal. But kids stabbing other kids because of football or polo, grown men kicking women in the stomach because they hate Americans, what is happening today is not a first... It is boiling blood in a cauldron and it explodes regularly.
I fear what is to come, but if what's coming means a change, then I'm curious to see what it will be

Saturday Night, I feel the air is getting hot

2008-12-07T01:16:00.000-08:00

Last night - or rather, early this morning - I went to bed in a different world than I had woken up. Not much different, but still more than my conscience would allow me to let go without ever commenting about it on my blog.

Fifteen years ago a boy came into this world, much like any other person does. He was raised not to believe everything he is fed from the media, he was raised to raise his voice and speak out his opinion, he was raised to be different and not one of the mass. I didn't know this boy, much like most of Greece, until last night, when a policeman saw fit to shoot him down like I would never allow a human being to shoot down a dog, and killed him for reasons that are left to be cleared out.

The two policemen - notice, I'm not saying "the police", since the Athens police chose to distance themselves from these two "men" who acted out the way they did - claim that they had no choice. The two policemen said they were driving down Harilaou Trikoupi (a street in Athens) answering a call, when about 30 masked men attacked their police car throwing sticks and stones at them. They left their vehicle, and one threw a noise-bomb at them. The other shot twice in the air and once in the ground. Somehow, one of these bullets found its way to the boy's chest. He was killed on the spot.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your bullets will surely kill me.

I have a couple of problems with this theory, and I will write them here.
a) I find it hard to believe that 30 15 to 20 year-old kids had nothing better to do on a saturday night that put their masks on. get their sticks and stones ready, meet up on Harilaou Trikoupi and wait there, in case a police car happens to pass, to attack it.
b) I find it hard to believe that the boy either lay on the ground underneath the policeman's gun, or flew up in the air, so that the bullet would hit him straight in the chest.
c) According to eye witnesses, the policemen drove by a dozen kids hanging out, drinking beers on the street. The kids yelled something at them, the policemen answered back, there was an exchanging of words, the kids threw their beer bottles at them, and one of the policemen fired right at them.
Bullets for beer bottles. Policemen with shit in their heads.

Since last night there have been riots all over the country. Leftists, anarchists and troublemakers are now out of control, burning Athens down, destroying stores, banks, cars, everything they come across. And this time, who can blame them?

I don't understand how some people think. I don't understand where they come off thinking they are God's greatest gift to this world after babies and sliced bread. I don't understand how they believe they have the right to raise a weapon and shoot a bullet against a boy, a man, a girl, a woman, an old man, a dog, a cat, a butterfly. I don't understand how they think that other people have no right to an opinion, to a different way of expression, to a different lifestyle than their own.
I don't understand how they can carry a weapon and not realize that they are supposed to use it to PROTECT that 15 year-old boy, not kill him. How they can clean that weapon in the morning and beg it NOT to shoot today. Beg it NEVER to be used. And not wake up and pray to God they have a chance to prove what "men" they are, by shoving bullets in a boy's heart.
I don't understand how these people decide to become judge and jury of a whole generation and seize an opportunity to start a crackdown on a Saturday night and with no provocation. I don't understand how they believe that to take a life is the right response to any "crime" they believe was committed.
Newsflash, "Mr. Judge": The death penalty has been abolished in Greece, but I guess you didn't take that class in Self Righteousness College, right?

In the "country that introduced democracy to the world" individuality should be hailed, not punished. In the "country that introduced democracy to the world" a 15 year-old kid should be allowed to be stupid, and make stupid mistakes, and pay for them the way he should pay for them, and not punished by death. In the "country that introduced democracy to the world" the people enforcing the law should be responsible and patient, not bullies and trigger-happy. In a country where not so long ago people gave away their lives to have this, so celebrated and sung for, Democracy restored, it is a downright disgrace that, this morning, I am watching people burn down stores and cars and all I can think of is "they are outraged, and today they have every right to be".

I am proud of our forefathers, for all they have accomplished and all they have done. But, the way things are going, I am afraid that my children and their children will not be able to say the same thing about us.
In the "country that introduced democracy to the world" today I am ashamed

The Book

2008-12-03T05:22:00.000-08:00

I came home early from work today
I wasn't in a good mood
I was thinking of how my life is slowly passing me by... how I feel I'm watching it go by, like looking at the landscape from the window of a moving train... how I wish things could change for the better on their own, without my having to do somet.... hold on!!
what is this in my mailbox??
a little box...
brown and small enough for a book to fit in it...
could it be......??
would it be.......????
you think it might be........??????

THE BOOK

As of today, I am a proud owner of what I'm sure will be a favorite book for everyone who reads it
So go buy it, for real!
Mame, you rawk, dude, I swear

Forgive the bathroom mirror photo, but the iPhone isn't exactly self-photo-snapping friendly!

Post with no title

2008-12-03T00:56:00.000-08:00

WARNING
Bitching and moaning to follow, so if you're not up to it please don't go past the line! Just know that I'm back from Athens and I hope everyone is doing well! Oh, and that I probably won't read your recent posts, cause my Inbox is packed!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am back from Athens
Missed one day of work in the process - I called in sick and stayed in Athens an extra day

I am kind of tired, so this is mainly to inform you all that I tried to catch up on all your blogs, but didn't quite make it...
I think I'm tired in general, and not just because I didn't sleep much, or because the cat was so excited to see a familiar face that saw fit to chew my hair all night long, or because I went around so much and saw so many things...
I'm tired because every time I go to Athens I realize that I'm nobody, doing nothing in an empty city and that, in Greece, the life is down there... and I'm up here... and i don't know what the hell i'm doing staying here, when I should be down there, living it up...

I feel like I'm way too comfortable here, doing a job I hate, living in a city I've come to hate, simply because I have a job and a roof over my head. I know that having a job is nothing to be taken for granted or lightly and that it is extremely precious and all that. And, believe me, that's the only thing that's keeping me at it... Because I hate everything about it, and you've heard me bitch and moan about it for way too long. Every once in a while, though, I get this feeling that I feel like I'm a bit more creative a person than what I give myself credit for through my job and my everyday life, and if I keep burying it, it will, eventually, suffocate and die - if that hasn't already happened!

Panos has been looking for a job in Athens forever, and I really do hope he finds one. That may mean the end of us - cause I don't really know if I can find something down there, it's a jungle down there! - but he really should be doing something better than what he does right now - he is miserable, and that brings me down too, and we shouldn't be miserable, right?

Anyway... Am I ranting? Does 10 minutes of typing a ranting make? If yes, well, then, scusi!

Ha!

Hope everyone's doing fine!

as you probably guessed...

2008-11-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

... i missed him...

I would have quit my fucking job if i didn't need the fucking money... i hate all shitheads in there...
I'm lucky I don't need to punch in though... and that's probably one of the reasons that I haven't quit yet... I'm quick and I'm good at what I do... I do twice the work other people do in half the time and probably twice as good... that makes everyone just dumping work on me, and me just doing it and leaving before everyone else even starts working...
you want to know my secret?

I - Don't - Slack

That's right

If I have to work, I put my head down and get the job done. I won't gossip, I won't have coffee, I won't snack, I won't sneeze or go to the bathroom until everything is perfect.

People ask me "how do you do it?", well, duh, Einstein, I work! When I have three pieces to write, I don't just talk about my weekend with everyone that comes by, then try to catch up on office gossip, then go get me some food, then play some Tetris on my PC and then, at 7 in the afternoon, wonder why everything didn't just materialize on my Word and ask people to help me cause "I have so much work I will never leave the office!"

Buy some brain cells

As you can tell, I'm not in a good mood. The big boss called me in his office last week and gave me more work to be doing on a daily basis. Says he doesn't really trust anyone else with it, but won't relieve me of any of my other duties.. I couldn't really say "no" because everyone knows I'm quick in getting things done, so he would just say "you are not being paid by work volume, but by the hour". which makes me feel kind of stupid, because i was already doing twice the work everyone else does...
What made it worse is that a) I can't go to ballet classes anymore cause I don't have the time anymore, and b) it HAD to be the week Brett Anderson came to play in Athens. Dammit...

Also this week my dad asked me to go have some tests done. You see, my mom had this hormonal condition when she was about 35, i'm not sure what it was, but she got bloated and couldn't have kids anymore... Well, I'm 33 and my dad noticed that I started to get bloated, so he's afraid I may have the same thing, since it's hereditary. I don't really want to go get tested, cause there's nothing that can be done anyways, and if I have it, it means I can't have kids, and gods know i want to have kids, and it will just destroy me.
well, you'll say "and wondering won't?". Who knows? maybe!

Also the iron in my blood has dropped to the floor again, and I should be doing something about this too, cause it brings my depression back to the surface! I'm thinking spirulina, but it smells sooooooo bad!

Also, I got rear- ended this week! Get your minds out of the gutter, geeeeeeez! My car! I turned and there was this girl unparking and she saw me and, instead of stopping to let me pass -cause i was IN the street, she was TRYING to get into the street - accelerated and cut me off, so I had to brake, and the guy behind me was going too fast and was way too close to me, so he just drove his car into mine.
did some damage to my bumper, but that's ok, it's just a car!

I'm glad Lionel is back, cause I was worried! Dude, I hope everything was OK while you were away, why were you away? I'm glad you're back

I'm glad Ned is back too, don't go away again!

And...

Ask no questions, just open up your minds and hearts and trust me. Go here and buy! I've read it and it's great, and by great I mean awesome!

I hope everyone had a great week!

όχι στο όνομά μας

2008-11-20T05:48:00.000-08:00

Με αφορμή το πρωτόγνωρο κύμα απεργιών πείνας από τους κρατούμενους στις Ελληνικές φυλακές αλλά και την εγκληματική αποσιώπησή του από τα κυρίαρχα ΜΜΕ, για τη Δημοκρατία και την προάσπιση των βασικών ανθρώπινων δικαιωμάτων καλούμε όλους όσους διατηρούν μπλογκς, διαδικτυακά φόρα και όχι μόνο να δημοσιεύσουν ταυτόχρονα και συντονισμένα στις 20 Νοεμβρίου 2008, ημέρα Πέμπτη, το παρακάτω κείμενο και όλους του χρήστες του διαδικτύου να το υπογράψουν.

Όχι στο Όνομά μας
“Είναι απαράδεκτη η κατάσταση στις ελληνικές φυλακές. Είναι κύριο θέμα η ριζική αλλαγή του σωφρονιστικού συστήματος”.
–Κάρολος Παπούλιας, 6/11/08
“Είμαστε άνθρωποι – κρατούμενοι. Άνθρωποι, λέω”
- Βαγγέλης Πάλλης, Κρατούμενος, 9/11/08

Από τις τρεις Νοεμβρίου μία εκκωφαντική κραυγή συνταράσσει τα θεμέλια της Δημοκρατίας μας. Από τις τρεις Νοεμβρίου σύσσωμοι οι κρατούμενοι όλης της χώρας κατεβαίνουν σε απεργία πείνας διεκδικώντας το αυτονόητο : τη χαμένη τους αξιοπρέπεια. Απέναντί τους αντιμετωπίζουν την εκκωφαντική σιωπή των κραταιών ΜΜΕ και την παντελή αδιαφορία της πολιτικής ηγεσίας. Σε αυτές τις πρακτικές όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο ΔΕ ΣΥΝΑΙΝΟΥΜΕ.
Η κατάσταση στις Ελληνικές φυλακές είναι απερίγραπτη και μπορεί να γίνει κατανοητή μόνο με τη σκληρή γλώσσα των μαθηματικών. Στα κατ’ επίφαση “σωφρονιστικά” ιδρύματα της χώρας έχουν καταγραφεί συνολικά 417 θάνατοι την τελευταία δεκαετία, ενώ ο ρυθμός τους έχει απογειωθεί σε τέτοιο σημείο, ώστε σήμερα να σβήνουν στα χέρια του κράτους τέσσερις άνθρωποι το μήνα. Η πληρότητα αγγίζει το 168% (10.113 κρατούμενοι για 6.019 θέσεις) με την αναλογία χώρου για κάθε άνθρωπο να φτάνει σε περιπτώσεις το 1τμ. Με ημερήσιο κρατικό έξοδο ανά κρατούμενο τα 3,60 Ευρώ τα συσσίτια που παρέχονται είναι άθλια, οι υποδομές θυμίζουν μεσαίωνα και η ιατροφαρμακευτική περίθαλψη είναι ελλιπέστατη. Συγχρόνως, το Ελληνικό δικαστικό σύστημα στέλνει στη φυλακή έναν στους χίλιους κατοίκους της χώρας με τους έγκλειστους χωρίς δίκη (υπό προσωρινή κράτηση) να αγγίζουν το 30% του συνολικού αριθμού των κρατουμένων. Αν η ποιότητα μίας Δημοκρατίας κρίνεται από τις φυλακές της, τότε η Δημοκρατία μας ασθμαίνει. Αν η τιμώρηση παραβατικών συμπεριφορών με εγκλεισμό γίνεται από το κράτος στο όνομα της κοινωνίας, τότε για την κατάσταση στις Ελληνικές φυλακές είμαστε όλοι υπόλογοι, με συντριπτικές όμως ευθύνες να αναλογούν στην κρατική μηχανή. Σε αυτή την πραγματικότητα όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο απαντούμε ΟΧΙ ΣΤΟ ΟΝΟΜΑ ΜΑΣ.
Τα στοιχεία που αποκαλύπτονται από επίσημους φορείς για τις Ελληνικές φυλακές σκιαγραφούν εικόνα κολαστηρίων. Έκθεση της Ευρωπαϊκής Επιτροπής για την Πρόληψη των Βασανιστηρίων (2007) διαπιστώνει βασανιστήρια, απάνθρωπη μεταχείριση και απειλές κατά της ζωής κρατουμένων, σειρά παραβιάσεων αναφορικά με τις συνθήκες κράτησης, ελλείμματα στη διερεύνηση και τιμωρία των ενόχων, αποσιώπηση περιστατικών βίας με την συμπαιγνία ιατρών και φυλάκων, απαράδεκτες συνθήκες ιατρικής περίθαλψης και ιατρικού ελέγχου στους κρατούμενους κλπ. Το Ευρωπαϊκό Δικαστήριο Δικαιωμάτων του Ανθρώπου έχει εκδώσει σειρά καταδικαστικών για την Ελλάδα αποφάσεων που αφορούν κακομεταχείριση ή/και παραβιάσεις άλλων δικαιωμάτων κρατουμένων από σωφρονιστικές αρχές. Η Εθνική Επιτροπή για τα Δικαιώματα του Ανθρώπου έχει πάρει απόφαση - καταπέλτη για τα κακώς κείμενα στις φυλακές, προτείνοντας άμεσες δράσεις για την επίλυση τους. Ο Συνήγορος του Πολίτη διαμαρτύρεται για την παντελή έλλειψη συνεργασίας των αρμόδιων κρατικών φορεών μαζί του, λόγω της οποίας έχει ουσιαστικά απαγορευτεί η είσοδός του στις φυλακές της χώρας τα τελευταία δύο χρόνια. Οι δικηγορικοί σύλλογοι όλης της χώρας, μη κυβερνητικές οργανώσεις, όπως η Διεθνής Αμνηστία, και πολλοί πολιτικοί/κοινωνικοί φορείς καταγγέλλουν την απαράδεκτη κατάσταση και ζητούν ευρύτερη συνεργασία για το ξεπέρασμα του προβλήματος. Αν ανθρώπινα είναι τα δικαιώματα που πρέπει να απολαμβάνει κάθε ανθρώπινο ον, κάθε στέρησή τους στις Ελληνικές φυλακές αποτελεί ανοιχτή πληγή για την κοινωνία μας. Σε αυτή την κατάσταση όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο απαντούμε ΝΑ ΣΠΑΣΕΙ ΕΠΙΤΕΛΟΥΣ ΤΟ ΑΒΑΤΟ ΤΩΝ ΦΥΛΑΚΩΝ.
Με την απεργία πείνας οι κρατούμενοι καταφεύγουν στο τελευταίο οχυρό αντίστασης, που τους έχει απομείνει, το σώμα τους. Είχε προηγηθεί έσχατη έκκλησή τους προ μηνός προς τους ιθύνοντες να ενσκήψουν στο πρόβλημα, καθώς δεν πήγαινε άλλο. Για να λύσουν την απεργία πείνας ζητούν την ικανοποίηση αιτημάτων, που αποκαθιστούν την χαμένη τους αξιοπρέπεια και επανακτούν τα βασικά ανθρώπινα δικαιώματά τους, αιτημάτων συγκεκριμένων, αξιοπρεπών και άμεσα υλοποιήσιμων. Απέναντι στις κινητοποιήσεις των κρατουμένων η πολιτική ηγεσία εξαντλεί τη δράση της σε αδιαφορία, υποσχέσεις και καταστολή των κινημάτων τους. Τυχόν αδιαφορία και αναλγησία της πολιτικής ηγεσίας όμως και σε αυτή τη φάση θα σημαίνει νεκρούς απεργούς πείνας. Στη μετωπική λοιπόν σύγκρουση που επιλέγουν οι κρατούμενοι της χώρας για τη διεκδίκηση των ανθρωπίνως αυτονόητων δε μπορούμε να μένουμε απαθείς σταυρώνοντας τα χέρια και περιμένοντας τις ειδήσεις των θανάτων από τις απεργίες πείνας αλλά θα σταθούμε αλληλέγγυοι. Αν η περιφρούρηση της δημοκρατίας και των ανθρωπίνων δικαιωμάτων επιβάλλουν την επαγρύπνιση όλων μας, τώρα είναι λοιπόν η στιγμή να πάρουμε θέση όλοι απέναντι στο πρόβλημα χωρίς αδιαφορίες και υπεκφυγές.
Απέναντι στην τεταμένη κατάσταση στις φυλακές όλης της χώρας όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο καθιστούμε την πολιτική ηγεσία απολύτως υπεύθυνη για ό,τι συμβεί και απαιτούμε άμεσα την τόσο θεσμική όσο και στην πράξη ΕΓΓΥΗΣΗ ΤΩΝ ΒΑΣΙΚΩΝ ΑΝΘΡΩΠΙΝΩΝ ΔΙΚΑΙΩΜΑΤΩΝ ΤΩΝ ΚΡΑΤΟΥΜΕΝΩΝ ΟΛΗΣ ΤΗΣ ΧΩΡΑΣ.Την 21η Νοεμβρίου το κείμενο αυτό θα σταλεί σε όλα τα μέλη του κοινοβουλίου και σε όσο το δυνατόν περισσότερους φορείς μέσων μαζικής ενημέρωσης με την προτροπή της αναδημοσίευσής του. Το κείμενο προς αποστολή θα φέρει τους υπερσυνδέσμους (URL) από όλες τις ιστοσελίδες, που το υιοθέτησαν.

cause my writer's block extends all the way to my blog

2008-11-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

I blame Daisy for this... And I thank Daisy for this! Either way!

A is for age: 23, and i'll stick to that even under torture (so please, don't try!)

B is for beer choice: Guinness... i love mcfarland too

C is for career right now: Down the toilet... right now, or in a while, either way that's where i'm flushing it soon

D is for your dog's name(s): I never had a dog, but my godparents who lived next door did... they were named Phoevos and Peggy

E is for essential item you use everyday: let me see... what do i use everyday?? i've been staring at this for five minutes now... my car? my blowdryer? the coffee pot?? my laptop? i don't know!

F is for your favorite TV show at the moment: I honestly don't have one! oh! except for Charmed, but that's a rerun

G is for favorite game: Ok, i honestly don't have one... unless you count cards, in which case, biriba

H is for hometown: Thessaloniki, greece... you should visit, it's nice... ONLY for a visit!

I is for instrument you play: OK... I play the piano and sometimes i play with other peoples nerves

J is for favorite juice: apple juice, by far

K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: do NOT get me started! it will be a very long list, it will crash Multiply and that won't be good for anyone!

L is for the last place you ate: Home

M is for marriage: I wouldn't know

N is for your name: I hate my name... when i was little, i exchanged names with a friend. seriously. she took my name and i took hers. didn't work very well, though, cause noone else would get it, and when they called me, she would answer and it was a mess... so we changed back after a couple of days

O is for overnight hospital stays: none... oh except for that time when my dad was in the hospital and that other time... but none for me

P is for people you were with today: too many for my peace of mind

Q is for Quote: uhm... if there's a god, i'd like some proof, like a million dollars in my bank account, or something like that... woody allen said it... it was cute - Panos' addition: I get the best parts in my movies because i sleep with the director - again woody allen

R is for biggest regret: hmmm... not going to athens when asked at a certain time

S is for status: the magazine? never read it

T is for time you woke up today: i don't remember... 7:30? 8?

U is for underwear you have on now: yes i do

V is for vegetable you love: broccoli, don't shoot me

W is for worst habit: eating as much as i do - seriously, i'm unstoppable

X is for x-rays you've had taken: a few, can't count them!

Y is for yummy food you ate today: Panos' spaghetti sauce... it was so good, i ate as much as a four-member family would

Z is for zodiac sign: Sagittarius... so what does this say about me?

Why I'm going to Athens next week

2008-11-13T01:13:00.000-08:00

He was singing “ we shake shake shake to the trumpet, and through the slippery city we ride, skyline swine on the circuit, where all the people shake their money in time” and we were dancing. It was the ‘90s, when Suede, with the unique Brett Anderson as their frontman, would pave the way for a movement called “britpop”, a movement that culminated in the years to come and produced names like Damon Albarn’s Blur, Gallagher brothers’ Oasis, even –the already existing but not very successful until that time- Jarvis Cocker’s Pulp.

Come November 20^th, Brett Anderson, older, creative and more attractive than ever, will be in Athens, playing at the Polis Theater. In his suitcase, he carries his second solo album, entitled Wilderness.

He was born on September 29^th of 1967, in West Sussex. According to those who knew him, he spent much of his childhood playing sports and changing hairstyles. His occupation with sports was serious, since for some years he held his school record at 800m. As he had said “it was the only way to avoid being beaten up. All the bullies tended to leave those who did well in sports alone”.

Music was always on his agenda. One of his first jobs was DJing in Manchester clubs. During his teen years, he had formed many bands, like the Pigs (that were the root for the song called “We Are the Pigs”), or Geoff, which he formed along with Mat Osman. During the late ‘80s he formed Suede, along with Mat and his then girlfriend, Justine Frischmann. If you recognize the name, that is because she is the singer of Elastica.

It didn’t take them too long to discover Bernard Butler, through an ad in NME magazine. Butler became an integral and neuralgic part of Suede during the first years.

That was the time, in 1991, when Justine left Brett for Blur’s Damon Albarn. Even though she was still a part of Suede and living with Brett Anderson, Justine would flaunt her relationship with Damon, always be late for rehearsals and never care about the band. That led her to see the exit sign pretty soon, and also caused an early rift in the britpop scene.

Brett always had an idea of how the perfect band should be, and implemented that (with huge success) on Suede. Even before their first record was out, his androgynous style and vague “confessions” about his sexuality stimulated the british music press and brought Suede in the spotlight. In 1993 their record, Suede, climbed at the top of the british charts, while Brett’s style (a little bit of Morrissey combined with a taste of David Bowie’s theatricallity) gave the band immediate acknowledgment and fame.

Success in Europe, of course, did not mean success in the United States too. The grunge air, and the wrath of Kurt Cobain, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, that had covered the country was clashing with Suede’s lyricism. Moreover, the band had to change its name, due to the existence of a folk singer called Suede in the US. That displeased Brett Anderson a lot, and he never wholeheartedly accepted it.

That was the way he accepted the term “britpop” as well. As he confessed, speaking to the Guardian,

“we were never really at the party, and Britpop was like a big party: people slapping one another on the back and getting beery and jingoistic. We could not have been more uninterested in that whole boozy, cartoon-like, fake working-class thing. As soon as we became aware of it, we went away and wrote Dog Man Star. You could not find a less Britpop record. It's tortured, epic, extremely sexual and personal. None of those things apply to Britpop”.

Despite the success that followed, Anderson’s dependence on drugs soon led the band to a compulsory hiatus, in the end of the ‘90s. As he told the Guardian, “in the 90s, I became a bit of a wild boy. I was trying to keep my world together enough to document it. But I always felt that I couldn't document it unless I was in the middle of it. I felt that it would have been patronising to be sitting behind my typewriter, writing about unhinged people, if I wasn't slightly unhinged myself. Although I'm sure that, deep down, it was also a good excuse to take lots of drugs”. In 2003, after their Singles record was released, Suede were disbanded.

In 2004 Brett Anderson formed, along with Bernard Butler, Will Foster, Makoto Sakamoto and Nathan Fisher, the band The Tears, that was met with mixed critique.

On May 2006, he announced the details of a solo album, entitled Brett Anderson, which was released on March 26^th, 2007. This year his second solo album, entitled Wilderness, was released. As he says, in his webpage, “it was one of the most satisfying records i have ever been involved with.it is simple, personal, bleak, raw, romantic and soulful and is full of the jagged edges and hiss and crackle of the studio”.

According to the Guardian, Anderson’s solo work speaks in notes “ the emotional development of a generation: from the flippant nihilism of youth to the stark choices of middle age”.

The night before...

2008-11-06T03:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight, five years ago, was the last night you were alive.
You were in terrible pain, and you knew you were dying. You had been crying for months, but in reality you had been crying for years... for a whole lifetime. But we never ever saw it.

I wonder what you were thinking... I know you asked Ricky not to call us and not to tell us, and I am angry at him for not doing so... I so wanted to be there for you, in your final moments. I wanted to always be there for you, I just hadn't realized it until it was too late.

I remember you calling every single day, saying "come visit!" and never did I realize how important it was... not until it was too late.

What were your thoughts? What were you feeling? What does one want and hope for when on a deathbed?
I wonder if you knew how I hoped I could touch you with my hand and share your pain. But I know I could never be as strong as you. How could I? I wonder if you knew how I hoped I could take it all away. I think you did... I just wish I knew it.

Five years ago, tonight, was the last night you were alive. It was the last moon you saw, the last time you counted the stars. The last time you wished you visited Iceland, the last time you listened to music in the dark. The last time you fell asleep to wake up. The last time you had a dream that would end in the morning.

I hope there's no more nights where you are. I hope it's all bright mornings and clear faces. I hope you are in the most beautiful dream. I hope you're singing and dancing in clouds and music. A non stop dance to happiness and truth. And laughter

I hope you are laughing.

I never forget

wha...?? who..??? eh???

2008-10-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

it's that day

we'll cook, we'll eat, we'll share stories, we'll set a plate for the ones we've lost, we'll think about them and miss them
we miss them every day

you all know who they are

and you know who you are

missed as ever and always will be

i wish you were here

if you don't watch this i am deleting you!

2008-10-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

yes i am a bitch :D

Pirouetting away from Alzheimer's

2008-10-14T23:51:00.000-07:00

This is me, sewing my new dance shoes

Our ballet teacher told us yesterday, during class, that ballet dancers don't get Alzheimer's disease. "You will not find one professional dancer with Alzheimer's" he said, "and that is simply because a dancer learns how to keep his or her mind working in complex ways, in order to complete a choreography. And this complex thinking can help prevent Alzheimer's and other brain degenerating diseases".
That made me think. I looked it up -yes, OK, I googled it!- and it looks like it may be true.
I found out that at least 1,5 million Americans have Alzheimer's Disease (AD) and that number is expected to rise to at least 16 million in 42 years (that is, by 2050), in case a cure, or a way to stop it isn't discovered. That is a lot of people, and a huge increase!
I also read that it is costing the U.S. about 150 billion dollars every year, to treat, diagnose, care for, and supervise the disease and those afflicted by it.
And, it IS a fatal disease. I know we were always told that, yes, it's an ugly disease, it makes you forget everything and everyone, it makes you scared and fragile, but it doesn't kill you. But that's not true. It is a fatal disease. According to the Alzheimer's Association, "it begins with the destruction of cells in regions of the brain that are important for memory. However, the eventual loss of cells in other regions of the brain leads to the failure of other essential systems in the body. Also, because many people with Alzheimer's have other illnesses common in older age, the actual cause of death may be no single factor".

My father, who is a doctor, has taken up Sudoku. It's been about a year (wait... maybe longer!), that you can't see him anywhere without a Sudoku puzzle and a pen in his hands. I remember one day, he got two puzzles wrong. I could sense his panic. "Why did I get it wrong? How could I have missed that 2 up there?". My father is a brilliant man, he is probably the smartest person I know. He can solve puzzles and riddles in a blink of the eye, he was always top of his class, in University, at school, best at his job, funny, with sharp and quick come-backs and in general, a bright mind. I'm not just saying that because he's my dad, it's actually true!
He chose to solve Sudoku's, i'm sure, because he wants to keep his mind sharp.

I think it may work.

I mean, we exercise, we run miles and miles every day, we kick butts at martial arts, we swim, we play basketball... Then, we check ourselves for diseases, us women, we have mammographies (GIRLS, DON'T FORGET YOUR MAMMOGRAPHIES! NEVER!!) and Pap tests (AGAIN, GIRLS, YOUR PAP TESTS! PLEASE!! WHY BE SICK WHEN WE CAN BE WELL!!) and take care of ourselves... And we forget one of our most important organs: our brain.
It can be exercised, it can be kept in shape, it can be kept healthy. Why not do something today, when we know, if we don't, we'll regret it later?

So... Dance! It's fun, it fixes our body, it helps our brain, it gives us grace. What's not to like?
Bridge: Yes, it can help! It sharpens the mind and also helps you meet new people!
Exercise in general: that may not actually train your brain (hey, I found a motto!) but it keeps the blood flowing through your brain and that's never a bad thing!
Play a musical instrument: I don't know how this helps, but i found it on the internet, and the internet doesn't lie. Besides, it's fun.

MTV GR Day

2008-10-08T02:21:00.000-07:00

Last weekend saw the birth of MTV Greece. I know, you are all wondering how come we didn't already have MTV, or why that was a big deal.
Well it was a big deal for two reasons: 1) REM played a free concert, in the center of Athens, at Kallimarmaro Panathinaiko Stadium. 2) I was there

So, this is what happened.

We left, (not so) early on Sunday morning, to get to the concert. It's a 5 1/2 - hour - drive from Thessaloniki to Athens, and we did it almost without stopping at all. Almost, because close to the end of our drive, I got carsick and absolutely had to stop. The rest of the drive, I had to have my head stuck out of the window, my face green and my dignity dragged from the back of the car, bumping on killed cats and dogs on the highway to Athens.

When we got there, we found that my friend at whose place we were staying was sick too, and wouldn't come to the concert. I was already exhausted and way too sick to think straight, so I said: "Well, maybe I shouldn't go either", anxiously waiting to hear the liberating answer "well, duh! you are green like a dollar, you should stay at home and rest". Instead of that, I got the "Are you crazy? You drove 800 miles just to stay home and sleep? Go there, besides it's free, if you feel badly, you can always come back".

So, a while later, we got on the subway and headed for Kallimarmaro. I couldn't even take the subway ride, I was so sick. Good thing it was only four stops from where we were staying. I saw a weird guy in the train: he was about 24- 25, dressed nicely, cute, and had a "Pass" hanging from his neck. I thought to myself that maybe he's one of the crew at the event, so I read the pass more carefully. It was from a Kids' Festival that took place about a month earlier. I was so confused... Why would anyone still wear a pass from an event that took place a month earlier?

Anyway

Some time after 8 we reached Kallimarmaro Stadium. We were sent through Gate 4, which means that we had to climb two flights of stairs to get to where we would enter the stadium from (we could freely move once we were in). I had already missed C:Real, which is a greek band I really didn't want to hear, so I didn't really care. I could hear that Gabriella Cilmi was on stage, singing Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River". But the real surprise was when I reached the top and looked at the crowd: more than 50.000 people (I'm sure it was more than that) had come to the concert and were already dancing to Cilmi (or to Timberlake, sung by Cilmy).

I walked through the crowd. Mainly young people, the ones you will NOT find in bouzoukia, "enjoying" canned music (those of you who have ever listened to popular greek music, you know what I mean). Amongst them, older people, who probably were simply just passing by and went in, due to the free entrance. But I might not be doing them justice, maybe they were actually there to listen to REM, or the Kaiser Chiefs, or Gabriella Cilmi. Besides, REM have admitted that they can't tell their fans when they see them in the street, since they may belong to all age groups, after all these years.

It didn't take me very long to forget that I was ever sick. I took a walk to the right of the stage, then the left, then the middle, and the party had already begun.

The Kaiser Chiefs didn't play long. We had only just realized that they were up there, and they were gone. They thought exactly the same thing, at least that's what they told the "hosts", during an interview after they sang. And, yes, there was an interview and everything. It was an MTV event, after all, and it was in no way worse than what we see on TV.

A while after 10:30, the great REM went on stage. Having already stated their support to Barack Obama (I think a lot of famous people will be really disappointed if he's not elected - ftou ftou ftou) and how they loved to be in Athens, "the city that gave birth to goods like democracy", REM rocked the center of Athens for about an hour and a half. Old, young, 20somethings, 30somethings, 40somethings and some even older than that, became one large bundle jumping up and down to old and new songs by a band that came from Athens (Georgia, not Greece!). Drive, Man On The Moon, What's The Frequency Kenneth, The Great Beyond, Orange Crush (Yes! They did!!), It's The End Of The World As We Know It, but everyone - everyone - sang at the top of their lungs to Losing My Religion and To The One I Love.

With this concert, REM cleary and eloquently proved that they are a huge group: they didn't succumb to the temptation of turning this into a meaningless, easy way for them to earn money and go home, simply by playing all of their new songs and Losing My Religion. Leaving the crowd not knowing what hit them. No. They chose to sing all those songs the crowd loves, thanking everyone for honoring them with their presence.

What can be said about Michael Stipe? Ageless, restless, shiny, wonderful, with a voice that could melt the hearts of 1000 Chinese warriors going to battle.

I left Kallimarmaro after midnight, filled with pleasure and free of any illness! It's true, music is the best medicine. I hope the best is yet to come

I'm confused

2008-09-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

I was reading BBC this morning, and came across this:

Bush chides Russia in UN speech

George W Bush has accused Russia of violating the UN's charter by invading Georgia, in his final speech to the world body as US president.

Mr Bush urged world leaders gathered at UN in New York to "stand united in our support of the people of Georgia".

Referring to Russia's recent military action in Georgia, he said: "We must stand united in our support of the people of Georgia... The United Nations charter sets forth the equal rights of nations large and small. Russia's invasion of Georgia was a violation of those words."

And blah blah blah

And now I'm confused

Is this the same George W. Bush, US president, who completely ignored the UN's calls and charter and invaded a foreing country? Using a justification that only proved to be a fabrication?

I'm probably thinking of someone else

First things first

2008-09-19T00:51:00.000-07:00

Karin did this, Erin did this (oh... all -rin's... I wonder if this means something!), so I'll do it too
Please, be patient

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
I'm greek, we don't have proms. Plus, most of us are not really allowed to date before we turn 30, which means that we do it in secret. So, all this american hype about dating, corsages and the stuff, that means absolutely nothing to Greeks. Nothing! And we don't date for parties either.
If you're asking me who my first real boyfriend was, that was Chris. I was 13, so was he, he was the funniest guy ever! I really liked him, and I think he really liked me too. We stayed friends for many years after we broke up (well, duh! we were 13, we broke up cause the wind blew from South to North or sthg!!). Actually, we stayed friends until 1997, when he was killed. He was 22! I still think about him sometimes.

2. Who did you FIRST play Doctors and Nurses with? OK, kids actually play this? I grew up with boys, I knew a lot about boys and girls, I didn't need to play that!

3. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? A couple of issues here. As I said, Chris was my first real boyfriend, and I'd have a beautiful room with an ocean view at a mental institution if I still talked to him (you know, cause he died. Although, my sister's husband has an aunt who claims she can talk to spirits, and I'll pay her a visit one of those days). But Angelo was my real first love. I was head over heels, and for many years too. It was an unbelievable story between the two of us, which doesn't belong here, or in a blog. But we don't really talk now. I see him sometimes, but we don't talk. We just stare at each other from a distance.
4. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? "> Ouzo... When I was little, I'd always drink out of my dad's glass... So one day, when I was about 3, he was drinking ouzo, and I grabbed the glass and drank it. It was horrible, and I hated it, and only managed to drink ouzo again after many many many many years!

5. Who was your first kiss? George. We were playing Spin The Bottle, but not with real kisses. When the bottle showed me, he grabbed me, and ... well... the rest belong to camping history

6. Who was the FIRST person to tell you they loved you? My parents.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Panos, cause he's not here, and his cat has been busting my balls at nights, meowing endlessly at the door, waiting for him to come. I will cook his cat before he returns (notice how NOW it's his cat, when usually it's my or our cat?)

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Ah! Mrs. Thomai! A saint! Oh, the hell I put that poor woman through! Because I knew how to read and write for a couple of years before first grade, I found it extremely boring, and would get off my seat and sway on the desks, or run around the classroom, and she was always so nice! She was the best

9. Whose heart did you break for the FIRST time? I think it must have been Chris'. But I was really young, so I don't know if it counts. If I was to think of a serious heartbreak I caused, that would probably be Angelo's. You guessed it: I regretted doing it.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them? Eleni (my sister), Katerina and Sofia were my first best friends. The four of us grew up together (our fathers had been best friends in High School and then University, and then after that), so I've known them forever. I'm still very close to Eleni and Sofia to this very day. Katerina had better keep away from me!

11. What was your FIRST sport played? Sport? I was chubby but pretty athletic growing up. I'd have to say the first real sport I did was gymnastics. After that, when I was about 11, I started playing volleyball, and it stuck.

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Katerina's, for sure. We'd sleep over at one another's place all the time.

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? Person? My mom, she called me to tell me that a girl on TV was wearing my red lipstick. She was right too! Non-person? The cat! I was yelling at him all night

14. Whose wedding were you in for the FIRST time? I have no idea, sorry! It could have been Vaggelitsa's the girl that was living with my aunt - the one that raised my dad, long story - but I'm not sure. You think that was my First Big Fat Greek Wedding? I'll have to ask my mom!

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Peed. Then showered. Then made myself breakfast. Then let the cat out of the closet.

16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Hmmmm... I THINK it was Dimitra Galani but I'm not sure.

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing? Why would I be any different? Ears!

18. FIRST foreign country you went to for vacation? Italy. Italy when my mom was pregnant with me, Italy when I was born, Italy later. I visited many countries, but Italy most of all!

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law? I don't think I've had one so far! I'm so boring

20. When was your FIRST detention? We don't have that in Greece, so never. We got reported when doing something wrong, and my first time was when I was 14, for talking during the test. The truth is, I never spoke, the girl sitting next to me was, but she was a greek parliament representative's daughter and the teacher had to punish someone.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in? New York, since I've only been to the States once, and that was in New York.

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart? Angelo. No doubt there. He broke my heart and then broke it again! And still does, every time I see him.

23. Who was your FIRST roommate? LENA! Oh, what a person! Our moms knew each other, and Lena had a secret boyfriend in Athens, where we were staying, and her dad would often visit and she wouldn't be there, so to justify her absence, she told her mom that I was doing drugs in the apartment, and I was always wasted and my friends were dangerous and she didn't want to be around for that! And her mom told my mom, and my mom told her "I trust my daughter, so if you think something is going on, you should wonder why Lena need to lie to you that way!". And I heard about this from my sister, to this day my mom has never said anything to me! That was in 1994.

24. Where did you go on your FIRST roller coaster ride? Poseidonio. It was really small and unimportant. Haven't had one since.

25. Who will be the FIRST to repost this? Who knows?

Karma Heaven

2008-09-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

In greek we say something that roughly translates to this: “God loves the thief, being His child and all, but he also loves the good guy!”.
About a week ago, I came to find out why we say this, and why it is so true.
Let me tell you this story

You all remember about my ex-friend, that truly religious girl, whose brain is never in the gutter, who always protests when someone utters a curse word, who always goes to church, and who also, very easily and with no hesitation, lies, gossips, manipulates and makes up rumors.
Yes, the very same one who waited until she was 20 to lose her virginity to the right man...
The right man, of course, being a D-list bouzoukia singer. Did I mention the right place? His dressing room, I guess.

Anyways.

This ex-friend of mine is still dating this guy. According to her, he is the love of her life, the man she is going to marry.
That would be all merry and dandy, if the truth wasn't so far away from it.
Mr. Right lives in Athens, they meet twice a year, when he allows her to visit, months have gone by without him calling her, he doesn't even know when her birthday is, and, this year, while we were still on speaking terms (remember? when I thought she was a nice person!), he was in town for two months, they met twice, after that never even spoke on the phone, and of course he missed her 30th birthday.
Back then, we were all telling her to break up with him. “You may be serious about him, but obviously, he's not serious about you!”, I told her, and I think that was the beginning of the end for me.
Now? Now I'm glad she's dating him, cause, frankly, I don't think she deserves any better, and if there's decent guys out there, I wish a decent girl will find them. Let her stay with him.

Anyways.

Last week, last Sunday, to be exact, my friend, Kalouda, was meeting her other friend, Dimitri, for coffee. She was late, but Dimitri was even more late (never be on time when you go out with a Greek. We're always late), so Kalouda had to sit on a bench and wait for him.
At the bench right next to hers, there was a guy sitting, and a girl was standing right in front of him. The girl was on the phone, talking to another friend of hers, about her boyfriend. She was nagging, and Kalouda was afraid she would have to sit all through the whole ugliness of some lady nagging about her boyfriend... and how he didn't call her the day before... and how all he could do was send her sms's... and what was really wrong with the network, and she couldn't really understand why he couldn't call her... And yes, she knows that being he has a lot of responsibilities... what with his record coming out soon and all... ... but he should have called... ... but before she had the chance, the friend they had been waiting for came, and they left.

We were giggling about this all week long. You see, this is a girl that made us doubt ourselves. Then she started lying about us. Saying this and that, left and right, information that kept coming right back at us, hitting us from all sides. Lies that we couldn't rebut, simply because noone cared enough to ask us if they were true.
Now, all the people she thought she had won over, are slowly coming back. Her “best friend” from work is constantly talking to me on MSN. He tells me stuff she thinks I don't know (I can see how she reacts when she realizes I know) and even tells me stuff and asks me not to tell her. That is causing her grief, and I can see it every day...
And then... This happens.
And I think...
The world is trully a miraculously small place.
Nothing can stay hidden for too long under the sun.
The Gods sure have a sense of justice. And humor.

I think I'm going to like this life.

My fear

2008-09-08T11:14:00.000-07:00

I am watching SATC. It's the one where Samantha's hair starts falling off from chemo, and Smith shaves his head with her.

Sickness scares me. It scares me a lot. The thought of something going wrong in my body terrifies me, it petrifies me, it scares me to a point where I avoid going to the doctors, simply because I don't want to know.
My father is an oncologist, and a lot of my parents' friends have had to go through his hands. I remember Lena, my mom's best friend, they lived at the appartment below ours for ever, ever since I was born. When I was about 18, Lena was diagnosed with colon cancer. She had to go through an operation, and horrible chemotherapy. Her hair fell off and she was in awful pain.
Lena eventually got better, and it's been 14 years since then. She's been cancer free and I hope she stays that way.
That wasn't the case with Mr. Nikos. Mr. Nikos was my friend Sofia's father. I've known Sofia for ever, we grew up together. Of course, since my father and her father went to Junior High toghether, and then High School, and then they were roommates in University, and then stayed friends their whole lives. Actually, Mr. Nikos' whole life. In January 1996, Mr. Nikos was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died exactly one year later - six months after Kosta.
My father also treated his other University roommate - my godfather's brother. He, too, had cancer, and he, too, died. That was actually the first time I saw my father absolutely break down and cry like a baby.
Through all the people that died, how can I forget about Tina. She had been sick her whole life -mediterranean anaemia did the trick. She was in pain, she was always weak, and died aged 28.

Tina used to say that we shouldn't be afraid of anything. And that we should live our every moment like it was our last. Coming from anyone else, that would be just another little poem on a piece of paper baked inside a fortune cookie. But with Tina, you knew she meant it: her every moment could be her last one.

I grew up with an unprecedented fear of death. Ever since I was a little kid, my aunt would scare me with stories of all her dead brothers and sisters, who would come back to haunt the house she lived in, saints would come knocking on her door, and a huge hallway filled with photos of the dead.
I remember being 2 and afraid to open the front door, because I thought I'd see a dead guy staring at me, asking why he had to die before his time. How would I know, I was 2!
I remember the first day I went to school. All dressed up, holding my little bag, with a Merenda sandwich, juice and an apple for the teacher, waiting for the bus to come, I turned to my mom and said: "I guess now real trouble starts". My mom thought I was talking about school and all the work. To this day I can still hear my thoughts in my head: "I am one step closer to dying now". I was 4.

I don't know where this fear comes from. Maybe it's because I'm missing out on life. Maybe it's because I should be doing things, and I'm not, and I feel that my life is being wasted away. But every time I think about sickness, I get that same feeling in my stomach, and I can't breathe.
- Same thing when I get on a plane! The take-off and the landing... You'd better be nowhere around me at that time! -

Panos came in through the door this afternoon and said to me: "How would you feel if we sold everything here and went somewhere else, like the US, or England, or Ireland, go study at some University and live there? Do things?"

I said "I'd absolutely love that"
What I meant to say was "I feel like we're taking a step away from dying".

That right there...

2008-09-04T05:45:00.000-07:00

...is me and my iPhone
right there
enjoy me!!

I "bought" my iPhone -which doesn't have a name yet, but will soon - a couple of days ago...
Having a cute gadget kind of changes your life for a split second, and this time I figured out the big Y! ...the big "why", that is!

So, trying hard to hide but really show off my newly acquired gadget, i strutted in my office. iPhone being in my front left pocket, I did a pirhouette going in, like I dropped a nickel or sthg, like "oh... what... where is that?", turning left and right, until the right person spotted it.

"You got it!!", he exclaimed!
"Huh? what do you mean? ooooh, thaaaaaaaaat", I said casually... "yes, yes, i got it", I answered, very successfully (and academy award deserving-ly) hiding my excitement.
"Letmeseeitletmeseeitletmeseeit!", he started singing. Him. Who, up until the day before was afraid to talk to me, in case my ex-friend-who-has-befriended-him-selling-him-lies-about-me-and-a-basketball-team-and-whipped-cream-in-weird-places finds out he's friendly with me and stops talking to him to.

I went up to him and placed it in his hands. It's white, it's shiny, it's gorgeous, and his eyes were shining. "Was it awfully expensive?", he asked, and I could see a drop of drool at the corner of his mouth.
"Nah", I replied, oh so casually. "As a matter of fact, I paid nothing for it, it was included in my dad's programme".

He played with it a little and never even noticed her coming in. She turned her head away from us and said goodmorning to everyone else. I was on top of the world and pretended not to notice.
I'm pretending not to notice a lot of things lately. That has become a second nature to me.

Anyway!
The day passes and everyone has a nice word to say about Snow White -oh! I just named my iPhone! Cute! - and I'm quite proud. But, guess what.. my split second is not even here yet!

Close to the end of the day, I was sitting alone with our photo editor, discussing things. Suddenly, the discussion -of course- turns to Snow White. "Can I play with it?", she said. "Sure" I said, "Go ahead!".
So she took it in her hands and looked at it right, and looked at it left and looked at it lovingly and admiringly...
And then she came in

My lying-through-her-teeth-all-year-long-and-then-spreading-rumors-about-me-like-i-was-a-piece-of-sh*t-she-just-happened-to-step-on-and-carry-around-on-her-shoe finally, after a whole day of everyone talking about it, caught on.

"Oh my GOD!", she shrieked, and the tone was so high pitch i swear it broke a window. "Is that an iPhone? Is it yours?", she squealed.

I blinked

"Uh... yeah?"

"ohgodohgodohgod can I hold it?", she squeaked.

I blinked

"Uh... ok?"

"It is sooooo gorgeous I love it, oh wow, it is absolutely gorgeous, i love it love it love it, and now i hate my phone!", she exploded. "You are so lucky, it is amazing, great for you"

I blinked

"Uh... uh -huh..."

Then gave it to me and then left trashing her phone

I immediately called Kalouda and said "Please... do that magic you do about the evil eye... I have a feeling my phone will break today".

Well, it didn't break. But I got a pretty good idea of what a masked person is all about!

Blasphemous rumors

2008-08-19T23:43:00.000-07:00

“I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing”

I don’t remember when this song came out, because, contrary to general belief, I was pretty young in 1984. But in later years, I learnt and read about the commotion that was caused by it. And, even though I wasn’t really in the epicenter of things, in order to have a clear view of the reactions, I can see them in front of my eyes as clear as the skies in a Greek August morning.

“An abomination” they must have called it. “A direct insult to God”, or “proof that this generation will be the last one, because God’s anger will smite us with fire and sulfur. And it will be the result of thoughts and provocations like this song”.

I loved this song from the very first time I heard it. Or, to be more exact, from the very first time I read it, since I read the lyrics in the notebook of a classmate of mine. It depicts, with accuracy that shocks me, the feelings and the thoughts that go through one’s head when life happens.

When a 28 year-old girl dies a few months before a cure to the illness that has been torturing her, her whole life, or a medicine to prolong and better her life is found. When a 17-year-old boy dies on the asphalt, killed by a car that shouldn’t be driven, by a 19-year-old boy who, before starting the car, thought to himself: “I don’t really want to go, I’d rather stay at home. But I’ll go now that I’m in the car”.

The song tells the story of a 16-year-old girl, who wants to die and tries to commit suicide, by slashing her wrists. God takes pity on her and she doesn’t succeed. Two years later, the girl is a happy person. She finds her lost love for life and also finds Jesus. But that doesn't last long, since a car hits her and sends her to the hospital on life support. A while later she dies.

“I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing”

I find it so ironic that people – humans, people like us – take it upon their hands to interpret other people’s actions, other people’s thoughts, and their beliefs and their words. And they take it upon themselves to interpret God’s will, and how God – any God, this is not an attack on Christians – would interpret something, and if He would take offense and be angry.

I remember when Harry Potter was first published, how all the Church people gathered in various places of the planet and started big fires burning the books. That took us all back to the time when the Nazis burned books and, along with the books, free thought and expression. Or even further back, when they would burn “witches”, women who used their heads, or helped their fellow men, or were simply a bit more beautiful than the establishment could handle.

I wonder if these people know how they are insulting God themselves. If this is the God we think it is, then I doubt he wouldn’t mind people talking trash about other people’s free thoughts. I doubt that he wouldn’t mind the hate that is born when someone goes out and publicly accuses someone else of even the smallest thing. I doubt he wouldn’t mind the blocking free transmission of ideas, because some preacher or priest or simply some self-righteous self-proclaimed savior of the world has so decided.

But, most of all, I wonder if these people know how they are insulting their own intelligence. I know they are insulting ours, and, unfortunately, they are right to think of a fairly large part of the population as idiots – or, strike out the word “idiots”, I’ll just call them “people who have decided not to use their brain, but to only use other people’s brain, in order to not waste calories”. If, when they say something, people jump right on that wagon and agree, then why not say something all the time and serve their personal interests and goals? But in doing so, they are also insulting their intelligence. Being the leader of a group of morons does not say much about you, does it? Go out there and do something great for your generation, you coward. Don’t just try to manipulate others. Greatness doesn’t work that way.

I was going to say that we have lost our humanity. But, come to think of it, I don’t know where the word “humanity” came from, because there aren’t all that many examples of it existing in our history books. Maybe it was simply a goal that was set ages ago. I just hope one day we find it.

You will ALL do this, or else!!

2008-07-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

on Thursday, August 7th, everyone must light a candle and leave it by their window, to remind this planet that there's such an issue, as the issue of Tibet, that has remained unsolved throughout the 20th century and must be resolved immediately.
Otherwise, we have no right to be called a lawful community

The World's Greatest Light Protest for Tibet grows even greater

All out light for Tibet in the 24 hours preceding the Olympic Games.

Sad Smoky Mountains & Skyscrapers join Candle for Tibet campaign. Will ignite red smoke on hundreds of mountain tops, and on several skyscrapers and landmarks in major cities.

Candle for Tibet asks people to put the candle in their windows, desks, or anywhere else where other people will see it and hopefully do the same. Many will participate in candle vigils throughout the world.

CFT is calling on All Light artists in the world to create light shows for freedom.

CFT calls the people of the world to take part by lighting candles, flash lights, lighters, car headlights and any other light source.

CFT calls for all those who plan to attend the opening ceremony in Beijing to light a candle, flash light, a lighter or even a cell phone during the ceremony.

Tel Aviv, July 21 2008

Candle for Tibet, the world's biggest campaign for freedom in Tibet, was joined by Sad Smoky Mountains & Skyscrapers to create an even greater light protest for freedom in Tibet.

The Light Protest for freedom.

On Thursday August 7th at 9:00 p.m. local time at least 100,000,000 people, from every corner of earth, will light candles in hundreds of planned candle-lit vigils, with their friends or at their homes. They will call for freedom in Tibet. (All details can be founds at CFT's press room)

SSM&S will send on the day following CFT 's candle action hundreds of mountain climbers and volunteers to ignite red smoke flares on Skyscrapers roofs in NY, Paris, Berlin, Amsterdam and other major cities around the world, and on over 100 mountain tops in 3 continents. The smoke ignition will coincide with the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Beijing.

"We are now ready to instruct hundreds of red smoke flares in cities all over the world" says artist Alberto Peruffo, the project's creator. "We will flare up the skies red from buildings, monuments and palaces"

SSM&S has already proven record. On May 11th hundreds of mountaineers climbed to the summits of over 100 mountains in Europe, Asia, North and South America, where they flared up the sky red calling for a free Tibet (Link to images at the bottom)

"This is very exciting development" says David Califa, CFT's creator and organizer, "SSM&S values fit ours like a glove, our whole campaign is built on unity, solidarity and sharing. It's a fantastic artistic action for freedom. We are calling on every light artist in the world to join us. We are also calling on all freedom lovers in the world to drive with their cars' headlights on, in the 24 hours preceding the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games on August 8th."

CFT is endorsed and supported by the International Tibet Support Network (ITSN), the global coalition of Tibet-related non-governmental organizations, almost all other major International Tibet support group, and several local support groups.

"We are calling on all human rights organizations to join this beautiful manifestation of solidarity for freedom. In the next few days we will also call on hundreds of performing artists, athletes and celebrities to light a candle for Tibet" says Califa "We don't expect that many will turn us down".

Candle for Tibet main web site:
http://www.candle4tibet.org

CFT Social Network:
http://candle4tibet.ning.com/

CFT Press Room:
http://www.erichopr.com/releases/c4t.htm

Contact:
David Califa
+972 544 730 090
Email: info@candle4tibet.org

Sad Smoky Mountains web site:
http://www.sadsmokymountains.net/

SSM&S YouTube page:
http://it.youtube.com/user/sadsmokymountains
Images from the May 11th Ignition:
http://www.antersass.it/sadsmokymountains/first_ignition_photos.htm

Contact:
Alberto Peruffo
Email: alberto.peruffo@antersass.it
Tel: +39 444 695140

Very partial list of targeted mountains for August 8 2008 (Urban locations will be revealed to the media before the Light Protest starts)

All heights in meters

MATTERHORN 4478 m (Alps, Switzerland)
MONTE ROSA 4634 m (Alps, Italy)
MONTE BIANCO 4810 m (Alps, France)
DOLOMITI 3300 m (Alps, Italy)

VOLCANO SAJAMA 6530 (Andes, Bolivia)
ALPAMAYO 5947 m (Andes, Peru)
HUASCARUN SUR 6768 m (Andes, Perù)
CHOPICALQUI 6354 m (Andes, Perù)
NORTH TABLE MOUNTAIN (Colorado, USA)

STOK KANGRI 6137 (Himalaya, India)

12 years on

2008-07-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

I waited for you in your room at the hospital. The walls were white, whiter than I had ever seen the walls in a greek hospital. Your bed was made and there was a bright light coming in from your window. I was nervous, I didn’t know what I was going to say to you. What you were going to say to me.

A nurse dressed in white showed you in the room and, as quietly as she had come, left. You were dressed in a white hospital gown and glowing. Your thick black hair was shining and you looked happy.

I came to you and you came to me. You took both my hands and squeezed them against your heart. My mouth was dry.

“How are you?”, I asked.

“I am very well”, you answered and smiled. Your eyes were looking deep in mine, as if to make sure I’d remember that look for ever.

“Are you happy, then?” I asked. “I am not in pain, and yes, I am happy I think”, you answered.

“So, what’s going to happen now?” I asked.

“Nothing different”, you said. “This doesn’t change anything”.

I tried to be sad, but couldn’t. There was a huge amount of peace and tranquility coming from you, from the light, and it flooded my insides. I could feel it floating in my stomach, in my lungs, in my head. I looked at you and squeezed your hands with my hands, that were still against your heart. “You will not forget me. Ever”, I said. You laughed. “Really, I couldn’t. You either, though”.

I wouldn’t want to. How could I ever?

“You don’t look sick at all”, I said. “How can you die?”

“I am not sick anymore”, you said. “This is only for us. To say goodbye”

We stood in silence, devouring each other’s presence for a while.

“I have to go”, you said.

“I will always love you” I said.

“I know. I will always love you too”, you said.

We hugged and I can still feel that hug to this day. It was the last time we touched.

You opened the door and left. That was the last time I saw you. My brother. My angel. My friend.

The wrong one for the Creative Challenge #10

2008-07-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

Genie held her head with her hands, shaking. The elaborate bun that was her hair on the top of her head was missing a lock of hair or two, that were now stranded around her neck, hugging her face as if to protect her. Her eyes were red and swollen, and it was obvious she hadn't had any sleep at all. It was 5:30am and the sun had started to wake up in this already hot summer morning.
Genie sniffed a tear back into her eyes and looked up. Mimi was there, trying to calm her down. “I promise you, he will not go unpunished”, she was saying to her friend, who couldn't believe luck had struck her such a painful blow. “How could he do this to me, Mimi?”, Genie said and once again tears started to fill her yellow-green-blue-with-orange-streaks eyes. “It's horrible, I know, but we'll fix it”, her faithful friend was trying to calm her down.
Suddenly, the door sprung open and Genie 's father dashed in. “I will kill him!”, he exclaimed, the anger making a vein in his forehead drum like Dave Grohl's set. He got on his knees and hugged his little girl. At the sight of her father, new waves of misery and disbelief drowned Genie . Mimi didn't know how do deal with this family tragedy. She slowly and quietly backed out of the room, leaving the family to deal with the pain.
She went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. The gold-and-crystal glass shimmered in her hand like a Snitch. She thought of the time she was tricked into watching that abominable movie and shivered. She made the sign of the cross and reminded herself that this was a house blessed by His Holiness the Archbishop. She drank her water and took out her phone to call Will.
Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... but... can he possibly be sleeping? Ring... Ring....
*Click* “-cough cough- Hell...o?”, Will answered.
“I don't believe it! Are you sleeping?”, she whispered-hissed at him. “Huh? Mimi?”, Will was trying hard to wake up. “Yes, Mimi, you animal! How can you be sleeping when you've caused such a commotion?”, Mimi couldn't believe her ears. “What are you talking about?”, Will was now trying hard to understand.
Mimi had no choice but to lay out the situation for him. Genie crying, her father ready to kill him, her mother lying in bed sedated, her brother already out to find him. “Er... why??”, Will managed to utter once Mimi was done explaining. Mimi shook her head. “Will”, she said. “Do you remember last night?”. Will remembered last night. He remembered dinner, very clearly. He remembered the gift he gave Genie , to commemorate their anniversary and honor their upcoming wedding. He remembered driving her home. He remembered his surprise for her, that underlined how much he would always be by her side and tend to her needs. He remembered every single thing he said and still couldn't understand what could have caused such a reaction.
Mimi tsk-ed. Three times. That couldn't be good.
“Will”, she started. “I have known Genie for ten years. The only time I have seen her so upset was that time when she dove in the pool and the water was not the right temperature and the day the jeweler called her to tell her that you hadn't picked the ring she had specifically demanded for your proposal. I remember those times like a nightmare, Will. The pain she felt has been etched in my mind. And this is how serious this is”. Will held his breath. “But... but...”, he whimpered. “I did nothing”.
Mimi checked in the hallway to see if anyone was listening. The last thing she needed at that point was for the family to think she was fraternizing with the enemy. Noone was coming and she could here Genie 's mournful cries and her father's threats and curses from her bedroom. She went back in the kitchen and sat at the table.
“Will... what did you say about the pigeons?”.
That was easy. Will was very proud of his idea, and he had taken care of the whole thing himself. His courage built up and he said, with renewed strength: “Oh, wasn't that good? I cancelled the pigeons and told the priest too”, he said, happy that, finally, his good side would show again. “It is my way of showing Genie how I'll always support her choices...”. Seeing as Mimi didn't sound as convinced as he would have hoped by now, that renewed strength started to drip slowly from his PJ bottoms and form little puddles on the floor. “...You know... because she joined PETA... And chose to become a vegetarian... And professes her love for animals...”. Her silence was deafening. “... Because pigeons are caged... Mimi?”. Now his courage had started to slowly leak out of the room, to be as far away from him as possible.
Mimi sniggered. “Oh Will...” she started. “And the food...”. “But she is a vegetarian now! I thought she would appreciate a vegetarian dish!”, Will got defensive.
Mimi sighed at the realization that she would have to explain. “Will... She joined PETA because it is hip to care about animals. If she loved them, she would have at least one in the 5000 square feet of a house she owns. Having pigeons do a flying show at her wedding had been a dream of hers since she was a little girl. Them writing 'Genie we love you' with ribbons hanging from their feet was a plan she thought of when she was 7. These pigeons have been especially trained in Bulgaria. They are deprived of food and water so they are focused on what they have to do! They sniff a cloth with her perfume every dawn and are given special spelling classes by Transylvanian monks”. Will gasped for air, but Mimi just kept going. “And she became a vegetarian because Gwyneth Paltrow is a vegetarian. But having a vegetarian dish at the wedding only shows your guests that you couldn't afford a real dish. Do you know what this will do to her image? KILL IT! She was eating meatballs and bacon here while telling me about it. You destroyed her wedding, Will. I don't think she wants to marry you now”, she finished him off.
Suddenly there was a cracking sound coming from outside and Mimi jumped out of her chair. “I have to go” she said quickly and hung up.
Will stood at the other side of the line staring at his dead cell phone and wondering what he had done. What Mimi had said suddenly now made sense. Did he not know who he was marrying? Did he not know his wife-to-be? How had he gotten himself in that mess? What was he to do? He thought of the cottage in the country he loved so much, that now seemed to have stretched out a pair of diabolical bat wings and started to fly off towards a more understanding fellow. His eyes watered. The cook had warned him that this would be the final change to the menu, otherwise he would quit the wedding and they would need to find someone else to accommodate his fiancé's ridiculous demands. The pigeon trainer had spat something at him in Bulgarian or Transylvanian and he was sure the word “legs” had come up, though he hoped he was talking about the birds. How could he call them back? And the internal pool... was suddenly drained in his head... In its place... a bathtub and a sick laughter he had no idea where it was coming from.
He put his head in his hands and cried. How could he have been so wrong?? So wrong!!

a comment to ned

2008-07-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

my best years were filled with

Radiohead...

and

Joy Division

and

New Order

and

Live...

and

James

and

Nirvana

and

Alice in Chains

and

Rage Against the Machine

and

Guns 'n' Roses

(btw, the GnR cover or "Knockin on Heaven's Door is the reason I always give covers a chance; it was the best cover I had heard in centuries - then along came Man Who Sold The World/thank you Nirvana)

Soul Asylum and Pearl Jam had their spot up there, only I couldn't do it! No, really.. couldn't...

And so much more! so so much more!
Oh I miss those years!

ingrid betancourt

2008-07-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I didn't comment about this!

She's finally free!

I remember the day she was abducted, more than 6 years ago... We were at work and we were shocked, scared, blown away. Her campaign had been promising, and she... she was so strong, proud, beautiful!

I was watching her return yesterday, how she got together with her children again, children whose best years she missed, being held captive in the jungle, children that grew up waiting for her to return, and fearing for her life every day!

OK, so I was a fan :o) But now she's back, she's free and I'm ecstatic

I'm here

2008-07-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

I'm here, I haven't left Multiply, I haven't lost my Internet connection, noone stole my laptop (that I know of, at least, since I'm posting this on my bf's laptop!), noone's cut my arms off, so that I can't type

The answer to why I haven't been blogging (and won't be till Tuesday at least!) is that I have an exam on Monday (7pm - local time), and I'm studying. It's the third time I'll be failing it, so I know what's expected of me: a lot of studying, a lot of anxiety and then a lot of tissues.

Anyways

I'm out

Logarithms are calling out my name.

SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M COMING!

F******* numbers and all

Heat

2008-06-25T01:47:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that my mind works in such weird ways, that sometimes I scare myself. What follows is an example of that.

Today, at about 2pm, while at work, I decided to go down to the supermarket and get something to eat. By the way, I bought a box of La Vache Qui Rit Light, in case you were wondering. I ate 2, and now I have tied my hands behind my back trying not to eat a third one.

Anyways

I came out of the building after about 4 hours in there and the heat slapped me in the face, like an angry drunk boyfriend who just found out I was, not only cheating on him, but also maxed out his credit card by hiring a call- boy. I struggled for breath and the hot air burnt my nostrils. Tiny beads of sweat jumped out on my nose and forehead and my mouth felt like a fire breathing dragon.

Through teary eyes I looked ahead of me, trying to unblur my vision and thought to myself "now, this is what a cake feels like when we shove it in the oven to bake it".

I took a mental note to stop baking for a couple of weeks, until my mind has erased all memory of the dreadful feeling.

And then, all of a sudden, and with no warning whatsoever (ok, maybe a little warning, in the form of paranoia) witches came flying on brooms into my head.

I thought of all the poor women who burnt to death tied on poles because some men in their town couldn't face the fact that maybe they were smarter, maybe they were more independent, maybe they were free-thinkers, maybe they were ahead of their time, maybe they just couldn't be tied down by sexist rules and rusty brains. I suddenly felt - really, right there, in the middle of a very busy street - the agony of a woman surrounded by flames - ok, I'm very sensitive to heat, that's a well- known fact to all who know me! - and the wrongness of the whole thing.
And why was it only women? Why not men? The patriarchic system of those years - and also of our times - has demonised women to the point that Eve caused our expulsion from Heaven, women were burnt as witches, women were being denied education or the right to vote, women are being paid less than men at jobs, and so many other inequalities I can't think of, because of the burning heat.
And all of the people that died in the name of a God, or of a Church, or some religion... And the people who are being denied fundamental rights, like the right to be happy, the right to share their lives, their pension, their property, to have a family, or to be equal as everyone else, all in the name of a Book, or a Church. What God was it again that made it all right to hate certain groups of people or believe we are better than someone else? I remember a God that said "Love Thy Neighbor" and "Be Humble".

Then I got to thinking of all the true witches out there. Call me a retard, but I believe in magic. Oh, wait. That sounds familiar, have I said it before? Maybe! Anyways... what was I saying? Oh, yes. I believe in magic, I believe that there's powers in the universe that are not wise to f*ck with. There's powers in people that are yet to be discovered. And there's people out there who have discovered them and use them. Some in a good way, some in a bad way. I don't think anyone can fly on brooms (though I won't say they can't, cause what if they can??), but I know that there's people capable of using energies for or against other people. Hence the positive thinking power, or the evil eye, and so many other things.

Then I went back in the building, and my brain froze and I felt like Jell- O. And I took a mental note to stop making Jell- O for a while, because it felt so cruel!

Amnesty seeks 'missing' Tibetans

2008-06-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

The Tibet thing goes on, don't you think it's over, it hasn't even started!

This is taken from BBC

More than 1,000 Tibetans detained during protests against the Chinese government in March remain unaccounted for, Amnesty International says.

In a report, the human rights group said there were reports that detainees had been beaten and deprived of food.

Ahead of the Olympic torch relay through Tibet, Amnesty asked China to "shine some light" on the situation.

China says rioters killed at least 19 people. Tibetan exiles say security forces killed dozens of people.

The anti-China protests led by Buddhist monks - the worst in the region in 20 years - began in Lhasa on 10 March.

After the riots, pro-Tibetan protesters threw China's global Olympic torch relay into disarray as it passed through several cities, including London, Paris and San Francisco.

Hundreds of raids

Olympic organisers in Beijing have confirmed that the torch will reach Tibet on Saturday.

A planned three-day stay there has been cut to one day because of schedule adjustments linked to last month's Sichuan earthquake in China, they said.

The relay will run through the main city, Lhasa, the centre of the anti-China protests.

Announcing the update report, Amnesty International's Asia-Pacific Director Sam Zarifi said the information coming out of Tibet painted "a dire picture of arbitrary detentions and abuse of detainees".

Official reports only provide information on a small number of those who have been sentenced after questionable trials, Amnesty said.

It said that , with foreign journalists still not allowed into Tibet, reports coming through friends and family members to the media and Tibetan organisations suggested that police had carried out hundreds of raids on monasteries, nunneries and private homes.

"Those who dare to find ways of sending information to foreign media or human rights organisations regarding protests and arrests, risk arrest and imprisonment," Amnesty said.

"With the torch relay about to enter Tibetan areas, this should be an opportunity to shine some light on the situation there," Amnesty's Sam Zarifi said.

Tibet's spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, has appealed for Tibetans not to protest during the Olympic Torch visit to the region.

The leader of Tibet's government-in-exile said recently he was fully supportive of the Games beginning in August, and therefore the torch.

Beijing says the Dalai Lama incited the March violence. He denies this and accuses the government of human rights abuses.

The end of an era

2008-06-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

I remember Winter of 1995 very vividly. Me and my two best friends in the world, Sophia and Maria, are sitting at the low wall that surrounds the ancient findings at Navarinou Square in Thessaloniki, waiting for our turn to sit for coffee at Froutotypo.

Those were good times. I remember being young and not minding the snow falling on my woolen hat. I remember talking about last night’s guy, or that new band, Oasis, and how good they sounded. I remember singing the lyrics to “Bright Yellow Gun” at the top of our lungs and being joined by the group of girls sitting 5 meters away, also waiting to go in Froutotypo.

I remember dreaming about the “Beauty Cream” Froutotypo served, which was a clever combination of vanilla cream with thinned honey and bananas. It was so tasty I could swear it would be sinful! But it was a sin worth committing, a chance worth taking. For Heaven is on earth, and sometimes it hides in the smallest things.

Like the tables of that place. Round wooden tables, reminiscent of an older time, decades of the past, so small we could never fit our glasses on them! There was always an extra chair on the side, for all the glasses of water and the free- press newspapers we would always take from the counter. Most of the time, during the cold months, the café was packed. The cigarette smoke was thick, there was absolutely no space to walk through, and the conversations were always loud. When you’re young, things are always more important. And Froutotypo was always filled with young people, either age-wise or soul-wise. Students, skaters, writers, actors, everyone made a passing from Thessaloniki’s best-kept cultural secret.

I grew up in there, I learned how to think in those 30 square meters enclosed within two walls – and two large window walls. I learned how to stand up for myself, I learned not to be afraid of my thinking, I learned how to express myself, I found out I have a voice and it may stand out and be different, but it’s as good as everyone else’s. If not better.

I learned all that in a small café, on Navarinou square.

I passed from Froutotypo this morning, and it had closed down. The empty space, the small tables that weren’t there, the sign that was now down, and the “For Rent” label made it very clear to me: a big chapter of who I am has now come to an end.

How it feels to be a Sagittarius

2008-06-09T01:28:00.000-07:00

Photo taken from www.allposters.com

Traditional
Sagittarius Traits

Optimistic and freedom-loving
Jovial and good-humored
Honest and straightforward
Intellectual and philosophical

On the dark side....

Blindly optimistic and careless
Irresponsible and superficial
Tactless and restless

I believe in Astrology. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I believe in Nature’s influence in our lives. Maybe, on the other hand, it has something to do with the fact that my boyfriend’s mother is an astrologist, and I wouldn’t like to piss her off. Either way, I read my sign daily in the newspaper, I take it very seriously, and when it says that I should stay at home and not mess with anyone, I call in sick at work, stay in bed and whenever people are around me, I pretend to be asleep.

I am known to have done this on more than one occasions.

Anyway.

What you read above is what the Astrologists all agree that a Sagittarius is like. I will take these characteristics a line at a time.

“Optimistic and freedom loving”

Hmmm… Not badly put. Although, in the past few years my optimism has gotten in his car and left the premises for good. I don’t know what it was that prompted this reaction on his part: was it something I said? Was it something I did? Was it something that happened that I had no control over? Surely, my not being able to pass one lousy class to get that f***ng Master’s degree, for three years couldn’t have had much to do with it! Neither could the fact that I hate my job and they don’t hate me, and they keep me unmoved, clawing and biting. My friend completely turning her back at me, the money that’s gone before I even see what color it was, the Satan-cat that hates me, my iron being on a world record low…Nah, my optimism is a professional, he’d stick around! I blame his being a man!

My love of freedom is put. Well, I have no money to act on it, but what the heck! It’s still here!

“Jovial and good-humored”

Yes, that I am. People not getting that GOOD humor and getting pissed off at me, throwing things in my face and then talking about me behind my back is a totally unrelated fact! Plus, it doesn’t affect my GOOD humor, making sure that I will get fucked all over again, without fail!

“Honest and straightforward”

I will put this up there with the GOOD humor thing! Being honest and straightforward, people, will bite you in the ass! Don’t do it! Be deceitful and devious! That will get you a spot on national TV! Or in the hearts of people. I don’t know which is better

“Intellectual and philosophical”

I can hear the laughter all the way to Greece! Stop it! You are hurting my honest and straightforward feelings!

“Blindly optimistic and careless”

I will agree to all of the above. Blindly optimistic and careless, especially when it comes to people. When I said that “Optimism has left the premises for good” I wasn’t referring to the blind one! That guy can’t drive! No, I was referring to the useful one, the one that motivates you to do stuff! The one that would put me in my chair to study for the freaking course, the one that would tell me “why don’t you start writing something? Who knows?”, the one that sent me to New York once upon a time. That one’s gone. The blind one, the one that tells me “trust everyone, it doesn’t matter what your gut tells you, or what your mom tells you, or what your loved ones tell you, or what the behaviors you see tell you! Trust them like they’re good!”, that one is still here, ruling my life! Someone get the son of a bitch off my face!

“Irresponsible and superficial”

I don’t even need to comment on this one. I am irresponsible and superficial. Period.

“Tactless and restless”

Apparently I am tactless, since I am “Honest and Straightforward”. Though most of the time I am nice –what! You got a problem with that? – sometimes I just out and say stuff and then I regret it. But I’ve already said it. And the rest is history.

Restless… I don’t think that’s bad… but I don’t think I have it anymore. Restlessness takes you places… But I feel so old lately!

So there you have it. That’s what my zodiac sign has been reduced to. Panos’ mom would chase me with a stick! But what can I do?

My advice to you: Stay away from me. You never know how I might hit you in the head!

random writing challenge #17

2008-06-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

photo taken from www.valhallaracing.net

He was standind outside the police station, his eyes fixed in the distance, where a weak sun was just beginning to rise. In his hands, he was holding a denim jacket and a black baseball cap. He didn't realize it at the time, but he was squeezing the cap so hard, that its rim had broken. But such detail now seemed to belong to a world he had left behind.

His truck was right there, the stains on its green color looking strange under the orange light of the dawn. He looked at it, but didn't feel like driving. The truth was, the alcohol still swimming in his blood stream caused enough of a distraction for anyone to steer clear of a car. If only he had felt that way the night before.

His mind drifted back to the night before, while making his way back home. The sun had already crawled higher on the celestial dome, shining a light on him, he wished would never be shone again. The strip- bar, the girls... The sexual promises, the obscene cravings... the threeway promised and almost fulfilled... the bottles of whiskey consumed in order to get that red haired stripper to dance only for him. The buzzing in his ears, the red blanket covering most of his consciousness, most of his rememberance of the night before...

How one moment changes your life for ever. How one decision can turn everything upside down. Why take the car and not a taxi? Why decide to drive when redhead has offered to do it herself? Why go left, when you can always go right? Why not lock yourself up and never see the light of day again?

The sheriff said he was looking to many years in prison. But it will not be the iron bars holding him locked up in a cell that will be keeping him in prison. His prison will be his whole life, until his final breath. Until that final, redemptive moment when his conscience will die and the sight of his son's dead eyes staring at him from his car's front wheels will stop haunting him.

I was shocked!

2008-05-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

i took this photo when I got into my car, to go home from work this afternoon

(did anyone notice I left early?? teeheeheehee!! )
So, as you can see, up there it says "38 degrees Celsius". It's May 26th, and that (according to http://www.worldwidemetric.com/metcal.htm) is 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit, in case you were wondering!

What will it be in August 15th?!? 50 degrees (122 degrees)??

(did anyone also notice that I took the photo while the car was moving? teeheeheehee )

Writing Challenge #16

2008-05-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

Part 1: Find or create a picture or photo related to your topic and put it in the Photos Section of your blog.

Part 2: You must write 4 paragraphs! Short, long, or dialog. You decide!

Part 3: You must select from one of these 4 phrases:

1. Not such a bad place to be in 20 years.

2. How could this be happening now?

3. He twirled the knife over and over in his fingers.

4. Undecided on the existence of a God, any God, I walked into the ceremonial hall...

The hours in a hospital waiting room seemed longer than what I had been used to. Minutes seemed like hours, hours seemed like days and the days… Days seemed like a life- time of waiting. A life-time of not knowing, of wondering, of watching myself crumble to pieces and emerging back to life, only to fall apart again. I found myself begging for an answer, and, in shame, even begging for any kind of answer. This whirlpool of uncertainty and pain was dragging me into the kind of hell no-one could drag me out of.

When the doctor came out of the elevator, I spotted him from a distance and through maybe 10 other doctors. I knew what he was going to say and I could feel the hollowness in my chest even while he was walking outside to find my dad. I stayed inside but still heard my mother’s cry from the hospital back yard. I saw my dad walk in trembling and get into the elevator with the doctor. He looked at me straight in the eye but said or signaled nothing. He didn’t need to, because I knew.

When they brought him at the house, it all seemed surreal. I was squeezing my brain to understand the “how’s” and the “why’s” but it all seemed surreal. It was him, but it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t bring myself to touch him. I stayed up all night, sitting beside him, knowing that it was the last time I would see him. I caressed him with my eyes all night long, singing him farewell songs under my breath. I couldn’t cry. My need to see him off before falling apart was far too great.

Why would a child be brought to Earth when he wasn’t meant to live on it? What was the use for all this pain? What loving Father would let their children’s lives be torn to pieces with a single wave of His hand? My heart was shredded, my body was bruised, my faith was leaking from me. I had nothing left. When they moved him for the funeral, I was an empty vessel. Undecided on the existence of a God, any God, I walked into the ceremonial hall for his funeral...

Something old, something new...

2008-05-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

This week has been nothing but a revelation to me.

I'd hate to bore anyone with the details of it. If I wanted to sum it all up, though, it would have to go somehow like this:

Coffee is bad for you. Not only does it give you cellulite (you, not me) but it also hinders any weight loss efforts. I know, cause I quit coffee, and I've already lost 6 pounds. And counting.
Misery is bad for you. Not only does it cause your face to wrinkle, but it also hinders any weight loss efforts. My friend told me that. It causes the excretion (??) of some chemicals in your body, stopping the weight from being shed. I recently had misery removed from my life. Suddenly, abruptly, but definitely permanently. Misery, gone. Nagging, gone. I'm a new girl, losing weight.
When your standards are different than mine, then stay away from me. When you measure people by the size of their wallets and not the size of their hearts, then stay away from me. When you measure people by the status of their friends, not the brains in their heads, stay away from me. When you lick where you once spat, then stay away from me. I have no time for opportunists, I have no time for people unfaithful, venal, and ungrateful. Away from such a herd, I am actually free.
If you must fear someone, fear the one who advertises their love for G*d. These people have no fear of G*d. These people feel like everything is forgiven to them. These people are so self-righteous they will not think twice before hurting anyone. These people feel they have G*d in their pockets. When G*d advertised humility, these people were not listening to Him. They were listening to their mothers telling them they are on top of the world.
I like this new situation in my life. I was shocked and sad at first. And then it shocked me how relieved I was. You see, for the past year, I had become someone I hardly recognized. Negative energy and miserable waves surrounded me and I hadnt even realized. I was constantly depressed, and given my history, that was a bad thing. I even had breath shortages and heart beat irregularity again, after many many years. Now I recognize it was all anxiety and misery causing it. Because I haven't had it in days.
I love green tea. I knew it, but forgot. And then I remembered again.

I will watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire now. Thank you for listening.

Funny thing

2008-05-09T12:04:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened tonight, and I'd like to share

See, I'm genuinely one of those freaks you meet here and there, saying "magic exists" and actually believe it. And I don't really mean that I'll stick out a finger and say a word and someone will get zits all over their face. I am thinking of real magic, of those tiny little ways nature has of showing you life's beauty, the magic of going on, the wisdom of things moving on, with or without you. The circles of the seasons, the birth, death and rebirth of the moon.

This morning, driving to work, I was in a weird mood. It was a sunny, hot day, not very hot but hot enough for a t-shirt, which I usually like. I wasn't in a bad mood, only a weird mood, if you know what I mean. I turned on the radio (I usually listen to my cd's while driving) and caught "Waltzing Along", one of my favorite James songs, right from the start. I started singing, and I sighed a deep sigh inside, cause the lyrics to this song really touch me. Every time. It's my cure song: "Help comes when you need it most/ I'm cured by laughter".

I laughed me a curing laughter and looked up.
And saw a swallow. It was just sitting there, I swear, bathed in light, pecking under its wings, moving its tail left and right. And it looked so perfect, it made sense.

I went to work in a magical mood. My stupid boss came up to me and said something that pissed me off. I thought to myself "damn, i could use a week without you soooooo badly!!". Five minutes later, she gets a call, some travel agency is paying her to go to Dubai for a week. I'm not making this up, this is for real. She hangs up and rushes off to call someone to tell, and we're all dancing around our desks that she'll be gone. She'll be away for a week, starting June 2nd.

So, now I'm in an even more magical mood. I leave work and go to the super-market. I pick out the best vegetables ever, and while I'm joking with the girl at the cheese counter about some cheese, my cell phone rings. It's my friend, who finally fixed us an appointment to get our tattoos. That will be my Kostas-Tina tattoo, it is really special to me, and I am so happy that the appointment was fixed on such a day. The problem is, my friend says to me, the appointment is on June 3rd, at 2 in the afternoon, when I'll be working. But that's when my boss won't be there. June 3rd. I wished her away, and she'll be gone exactly the day I needed her to be gone!
So my tattoo is on!

I went back home, we cooked a veggie burger meal and I made a salad, and made the tomato like a flower and garnished it with cheese and scallions, and cucumbers for leaves and we laughed and ate and had a good time.

After a while, I went to my parents' house to visit my parents. We talked, we laughed, we gossiped, and then I went into my room to snoop around a bit. Funny I used the word "snoop", cause that was Kostas' graffiti name. And that was exactly what I found. In a box I hadn't opened since we had moved in that house, 11 years ago. A notebook from university, from 1995 - one year before Kostas died. I don't really know what made me go through that notebook today, but I found something I had never seen before. He had sketched me a page, and wrote me a little note, inside my notebook. His favorite bands, a little man and "For Maria, with love, Snoop. Kostas". I couldn't believe my eyes. That was probably about a year before he was gone. I took the notebook and will try to salvage this page, probably in a glass frame or sthg. He had probably thought "This will be worth a fortune when I'm rich and famous", cause we always say that. And now it's worth, well.. so much, because it's actually all I have of him!

When I came home, I opened up the TV, and, sure enough, "Practical Magic" was JUST starting. I really like this movie, not because it's a cinematic wonder. But because I like it. And because I do think that, even though we can't make the spoon stir our coffee on its own, or blow-light a candle, we all lead magical lives. One way or another. We just have to see it.

Today was magic I think. If you don't believe in this hocus pocus horsecrap, then please explain this day to me!
I, for one, believe in magic. With all my heart. And even if you don't, take my advice and, just to be on the safe side, "always spill salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary in your back garden, plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can".

right now

2008-05-07T07:28:00.000-07:00

i'm watching Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King

Ever since i first read the books, back in 1988, I was Arwen in my head. Then Liv Tyler played the part and I couldn't be further away! But I'm still Arwen in my heart!

I love LOTR. The books, the movies, the stickers, the buzz, everything

May '08

2008-05-06T00:30:00.000-07:00

It is May 6th, I am home sick and thoughts are going through my head.
Thoughts like this:

I'm working at a magazine that accompanies the Sunday issue of a newspaper. In order to run a good weekly magazine, you have to have at least 7-8 people working for you. That means (I'll be nice here) someone to run the place, someone to help that person run the place (and split responsibilities, so that when one is not there the other can replace them), one photo editor, one person to correct the texts, put them on paper, gather everything etc., and about 6-7 (I'll say) people to be running around the city, doing stories. And one person to be doing all the dirty work, like standard paid-for columns, agendas and stuff.
At our magazine, we have ONE person to run the place, one photo editor, one guy to collect stuff (period) and 3 people to be running around the city doing stories, and one to do the paid-for columns.
Do the math: half of the people needed to write, half of the people needed to run the place. If you add to that math that the person running the place, is, well... constantly running around places, not at work, but, say, lunches, dinners, trips here and there, gone for days etc., this should leave you with a quite accurate image of things at my place of work.

Some time ago things were a little bit different. There were 4 kids, still at school, working at the magazine. They weren't getting paid, but doing a lot of work. It also wasn't work that could just be published, without being worked through by us first. But it was work done and load off our backs.
Those kids were made to stop about a month ago, because the business felt they might sue for working without pay. Now, I'm all against working without pay. I believe that, if you work, you should get paid, no matter what. Sadly, in Greece this happens. They'll take you, say "you'll practice for 2, 3, 6 months without pay, and then we'll see", keep you this way for years and then call you an ingrate and point a finger at you when you ask for your money or take them to court. But, also, you can't have a magazine operating with half the people needed, have high expectations, yell every week saying "how did E have this story and we couldn't?" when E has 25 people working there for the same amount of work.

It just so happened that I'm sick. I've been sick since Friday, I really can't go to work, and, honestly, I won't get up in the condition I'm in and take my butt down there to work, for a business that's treated me like a chair, taking me from where I had been working for 10 years and making me do something completely different for 2 months, only to move me from there again and place me somewhere else, like my work meant absolutely nothing to anyone. I have had no respect, I have had my contract violated multiple times, I was working there for 3 years without pay, I decided not to take them to court for I don't even know what reason any more, but jeopardise my health (and my sanity) for nothing, I will not do.

That said, I got a call this morning. The person who runs the place: "Hi. Still sick?", Me: "Yes", Person: "Well, make sure you're not sick tomorrow, 'cause I'll be gone for two days, going somewhere-i-dont-give-a-shit and I need you to replace me", Me: "You need someone to be replacing you in general, I don't do that (a whole pay thing)", Person: "I need it to be you, so make sure you are here", Me: "I can't control it, if I'm OK I'll be there but if I'm not, sorry, can't help it, I will not die for anyone", Person: "Well, if you die, I'll bring you beautiful flowers at your funeral".

I think being someone who refuses to officially make someone else your replacement, fearing that one day they'll conspire to steal your job (like you've done in the past) is, whatever, you right, your stupidity, your burden to bear. But this behavior is downright unacceptable, completely outside the boundaries of good work fellowship and should be comdemned. At the very least.

Urgent Campaign Thing

2008-03-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

photo taken from http://www.savetibet.org/

This whole weekend my own affairs kept me away from reading about what was going on in the world. This resulted in my not hearing until only this morning about what happened in one of the places that interests me in this world: Tibet.

So, only this morning did I find out about the riots and the killings and the arrests and the blood once again shed in the streets of this sorely tried territory. As it turns out, on Friday violent riots erupted in the streets of Lhasa, Tibet, from Tibetans who oppose the chinese rule of their ancestral grounds, and, of course, of the hosting of the Olympic Games before all oppression has ended. According to the Tibetan government-in-exile*, at least 80 people have been killed during the clashes between the chinese authorities and the Tibetan protesters in Lhasa, on Friday. On its part, China has announced that the death toll reached “13 innocent civilians”.

Reading about it from Reuters, I read that Qiangba Puncog, government
chief in Tibet, claimed that “I can say with all responsibility we did not use lethal
weapons, including opening fire”, in their effort to stop the riots. I’m wondering how those people died.

The protests sprawled like a wave through towns and monasteries on the east part of the TAR (Tibetan Autonomous Region as it has been officially called since the mid ‘60s) as violence continued in the capital.

According to the International Campaign for Tibet, more than a thousand monks (get that? Monks have reached that point where they demonstrate in the streets! Buddhist monks are the most peaceful beings on the planet, maybe next only to butterflies, or trees!) “were joined by laypeople in a major protest at Kirti monastery and town in Ngaba Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture, Sichuan, which led to at least eight, possibly many more, people being killed, according to several sources”. Among these people there was a 15 year-old high school student. Eight bodies, according to eye witnesses, were on display outside the police station in Ngaba, in order to deter the population from further acts of protest. Reading at the ICT I learn that, “according to one eyewitness report, the paramilitary armed police had been carrying out drills in the town in a display of force which appears to have angered Tibetans. After a morning prayer ceremony, monks reportedly joined laypeople in a spontaneous protest, shouting slogans of Tibetan freedom and in support of the Dalai Lama before armed police fired into the crowd. An eyewitness report from the area said that the local government run hospital was refusing to treat the wounded.

A crackdown may now be beginning in the county town of Machu (Chinese: Maqu), Gansu province, after an estimated 1500 Tibetans gathered this morning, calling for the Dalai Lama to return to Tibet and shouting pro-independence slogans. Some were carrying Tibetan flags and images of the Dalai Lama. Around 11 truckloads of armed police were seen approaching the protestors by one eyewitness, according to a new report received by ICT”.
Mind you, this is mid March, 2008. For those of you caught in this unprecedented time capsule.
“For those people who are still active or have committed serious crimes, we will deal with them harshly. If these people can provide further information about those involved, then they could be treated more leniently”, said Qiangba Puncog, according to Reuters. Become ruffiani (informers, I don’t know any word that would characterise these people, only the italian one) and we’ll spare your lives.

China has been long accused of violating human rights in Tibet (and not only in Tibet), with organisations all over the world pointing out cases of illegal imprisonments, torture, denying of basic human rights, like singing traditional songs, the disappearance of Tibet’s Panchen Lama and his replacement with a Chinese chosen one, beatings, destruction of properties and the list goes on forever.

New protests are erupting in the region as we speak, and this does not appear to lead to a peaceful ending. The Dalai Lama has said he fears about the reprisals that will follow the ultimatum issued by the chinese government to the Tibetans demonstrating all over Tibet, to surrender by midnight tonight. “These ultimatums are not the way to win the heart and minds of the Tibetan people”, said Mr. Chhime Chhoekyapa of the Office of H.H. the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama told the media that he had appealed to international leaders, including Chinese leaders, as well as his friends, to intervene so that the situation does not deteriorate.

The ultimatum asks for the Tibetan demonstrators to hand themselves in by midnight tonight. That has caused fear of a military sweep amongst Tibetans, and, particularly, amongst former political prisoners (the Chinese have seen to it that there’s a good number of those in the region) who are monitored regularly and viewed with suspicion by the chinese authorities.
China said that they have shown “great restraint” in the face of the protests, and have not used any weapons. I wonder what would happen if they hadn’t. Tienanmen square all over again? Oh, but wait, this is still in progress, right? And at midnight, I guess we’ll see what “tougher punishment” stands for in 2008.

Keep in mind that Beijing will host the 2008 Olympic Games. The Olympic Games stand for peace and unity amongst people, wars were paused and hatred forgotten during the ancient times while the Games were being held. More than 2,000 years later, China is controlling at least 4 regions that want to be freed, is violating basic human rights, has more executions than the rest of the world combined (yes, including Texas) and even more than that in secret, completely disregards the need for free information (reporters were “kindly” asked to leave Tibet when the riots began, and some of them were persecuted for false information. Plus there’s the whole Google/China/Tibet/human rights issue to consider), hiding of children (yes, I am talking about the Pancen Lama who was taken by the chinese authorities when he was only 6 years old and was never to be seen or heard of again) et al.

I’ll be following this closely and keeping everyone informed. Like it or not! :o)
*The Dalai Lama has fled Tibet and has formed the Tibetan government-in-exile in Dharamsala, India. Read the wiki for more info.

At The Drive-in - Relationship of Command

2008-01-27T02:46:00.000-08:00

Όπως δημοσιεύτηκε στις "Επιλογές" της Κυριακάτικης Μακεδονίας, στις 27 Ιανουαρίου

Θυμάμαι σαν σήμερα τη μέρα που η ουράνια Τίνα Χρόνη ήρθε στο γραφείο μου και μου άφησε ένα χαρτάκι. Πάνω έγραφε: "At the drive -in, ψάξ'τους". Δεν πρόλαβα, όμως, γιατί η Τίνα τα έκανε όλα γρήγορα. Αμέσως μου έφερε τον αγαπημένο της δίσκο, για να τον ακούσω.
Δεν ήταν ο πρώτος τους, ήταν όμως ο πρώτος που είχε ακούσει εκείνη, κι έφτανε για να προκαλέσει έναν "έρωτα" που διήρκεσε μέχρι το τέλος της σύντομης ζωής της. Το "Relationship of Command" έμελλε να μείνει χαραγμένο στις ψυχές μας ως ένα από τα πιο αγαπημένα ακούσματα μιας λατρεμένης φίλης και να αποτελέσει, τελικά, το soundtrack μιας μεγάλης απώλειας.
Το στιλ του συγκροτήματος καθρεφτίζεται τέλεια σε αυτό το τελευταίο και πιο δημοφιλές άλμπουμ τους. Ανένταχτο, μοναδικό, για πολλούς πρώιμα emo, post hardcore, σκοτεινό, μελαγχολικό, δυνατό, ειλικρινές, ξεκάθαρο, το "Relationship of Command" δεν είναι καθόλου δύσκολο να σε κερδίσει. Με μία από τις μεγαλύτερες επιτυχίες του συγκροτήματος, το "One Armed Scissor" στο tracklist του, αποτελεί σίγουρα το κύκνειο άσμα του συγκροτήματος.
Λίγο αργότερα οι At The Drive- in διαλύθηκαν. Ήταν Φεβρουάριος του 2001, και η Τίνα είχε ταξιδέψει στο Άμστερνταμ για να τους δει ζωντανά. Η χαρά της ήταν απερίγραπτη, και για εβδομάδες συζητούσε μόνο αυτό. Δύο ημέρες πριν από τη συναυλία, και όσο η Τίνα και ο Ρύκιος βρίσκονταν ήδη εκεί, οι At The Drive- in ανακοίνωσαν ότι διαλύονται. Τη θυμάμαι να λεει: "Περάσαμε υπέροχα, δεν μπορείς να κάνεις κι αλλιώς στο Άμστερνταμ. Δεν μπορώ να ξεπεράσω, όμως, το ότι έφτασα τόσο κοντά στο να τους δω, και τώρα αυτό δεν θα γίνει ποτέ!".
Δύο χρόνια και εννιά μήνες αργότερα η Τίνα "έφυγε" για πάντα. Σαν σήμερα είχε τα γενέθλιά της. Κι εμείς τη θυμόμαστε και την αγαπάμε, πάντα με το αγαπημένο της soundtrack.

Dissect a trillion sighs away, will you get this letter?
Jagged pulp sliced in my veins, I write to remember
'Cause I'm a milliion miles away, will you get this letter?
Jagged pulp sliced in my veins, I write to remember

A Tale of One Country

2008-01-15T05:43:00.000-08:00

I suggest you keep notes, cause this is going to take a while.

It is the middle of December, and one man is not really enjoying the Christmas spirit that’s taken over the city. He has his own troubles to worry about. Apparently, this man, we’ll call him Christos (no connection to Jesus Christ, with the exception of the name resemblance), in his late 60s –early 70s or so, was in an extra- marital relationship with a woman, much younger than he was. But apart from the age thing (which, imho, is no biggy), there was good reason he was jumpy about his relationship. Apparently, he was that woman’s (we’ll call her “the 34 year-old”) superior at the greek Ministry of Culture, and now she was blackmailing him with a DVD, threatening to put it on every video store in the country.
Christos jumped out the 4th floor window, at his house in Kolonaki, Athens. Those who knew him, before he became “Christos the jumper” or “Christos of the Ministry” talk about a decent man, an artist, a rocker, a reader. It’s shocking how politics, sex, power, some times individually, some times combined, can cloud your mind and change your psyche.
Ok, so this happened. FYI, Christos did not die. He is in the intensive care unit, badly hurt, but he will live. How can this happen, you may wonder? Some times, it seems that the Gods won’t let you die, until you’ve come face to face with the repercussions of your actions. Some times, you are just unlucky.

Well, his dive from the 4th floor stirred a series of events that have shaken the greek political and journalistic world. Pens ready? Here we go:
The 34 year-old had this DVD of the two of them… well… fucking. She took it to a couple of reporters and it finally found its way to the government’s hands. (Mind you, I’m giving you the quick version of the facts!). Four days after it was handed over to government officials by an unknown journalist (did you write that down? There will be more talking about this person later), the DVD was handed over to the judicial authorities. That, naturally, caused a series of questions:
- what took the government four days to watch and understand?
- the DVD was apparently edited. Who edited it? Why did they edit it? What was missing? Was it edited when the government got it, or did the government edit it?
- who was the journalist that handed the DVD over? Why did s/he give it to the government and not the proper authorities? What did he take in return?
- was there more in the DVD, apart from the… well… obvious?

There has been almost a month of speculation. The government official refused to give the name of the journalist, since the official was himself a journalist, and claimed he was bound to not reveal his sources. That argument collapsed yesterday, and he visited the investigator’s office, where he revealed the name.

Now… The Name:
One of the biggest newspapers in Greece is To Proto Thema. Two journalist own it, Makis and Themos, who each own 40%, and one third guy owns 20% (we’ll call him Mr 20%). There’s much speculation that the DVD- journalist is actually Themos, but he vehemently denies it, threatening to sue anyone who hints that. This Sunday, To Proto Thema published photographs right out of the police investigation, that pictured Christos and the 34 year-old having sex. The photos were, to be honest, emetic, I have sex on my own, thank you very much, I don’t need to see a 250 pound old man at it with a woman half his age.
Makis was outraged. He claimed he was out of Athens, on business, when they called him from the newspaper and told him they had a couple of photos, and never explained to him exactly what they were. He called on Mr 20% to back him up and have Themos thrown out of the newspaper, cause he is “not at all sure that he is not the DVD-guy” and claimed to be disgusted with the whole situation. Themos maintains that he is not the one.
Meanwhile, the journalists working at To Proto Thema issued a statement, completely backing Themos. Later, Makis continued his attack on Themos, from his TV show, late at night. He claimed that Themos has from 5 to 14 million euros in his bank account that came from, who knows where, hinting that he was paid from the government, or that he was paid from someone else and simply tried to keep the government off his back when it came to that amount. That same night, the journalists issued another statement, saying that Makis actually put himself off the paper, both ethically and journalistically.

And here we are, the simple people of Greece, and the simple journalists working on the payroll, watching our country’s simple morals fall down the toilet and our, not so reputable anyway, profession’s name bathed in mud and horse-poo.

So, how’s 2008 treating you all?

remember

2007-11-07T00:14:00.000-08:00

i remember this day four years ago
it was sunny and warm, and we were thinking, it can't be november, the weather is so good!
Ricky called me while i was buying my season tickets. panos was looking for our seats and i was just looking at all the pictures. when i saw my caller id, i thought "yes! ricky and tina are here, we're going out tonight!"
when he told me i lost my balance. i fell wherever i was standing, and thankfully there was a chair there. i couldn't believe it, i had to push my brain till it hurt to get myself to believe it. i cried uncontrollably. i still do to this day.
we travelled all night by train. all i would to was try to get myself to believe it. we met ismini by chance on the train. i remember her face swollen, and tracks of tears still visible. we went to the cafe, and noone was speaking. i couldnt even open my mouth to form a word.
the train was packed with people travelling all night to be in athens in the morning. we got off and went to a coffee shop to get some coffee before it all started. i remember my body numb and i remember i could feel a pain, but can't remember where.
i remember what i was wearing. it was this cop copine shirt you always told me how much you liked and a pair of jeans. i thought it was so ironic that i was seeing you out wearing this shirt.
leaving the cafe, we bought our newspaper, to see if they had thought to write a piece on you. they had. 100 words on a black field. i got so angry i threw the paper away. 100 words? on you? tomorrow i'd return and give them a piece of my mind. let them know that it takes more than 100 words to describe someone like you, and to convey the pain your leaving causes. it takes more than 100 words to honor a person that gave light, kindness and smile to everyone unconditionally. it takes more than 100 words to explore how someone whose whole life had been carved by sickness and unbearable pain managed to never show it, but go down her path patiently, quietly, bravely, like the hero that you were.
it takes more than 100 words to even begin to describe the tragedy of someone leaving at the age of 28, when she could have given so much and been so happy.
i remember reaching the church. suddenly i really didn't want to go in. everyone would go but i really didn't want to set my foot in it. panos asked me, please, he said, we have to. i remember dragging my feet, i felt 3 years old again, i did not want to go. we went inside the courtyard and looked inside the room. there you were, lying in a bed of flowers, your hair out of your face, the way you never wanted it. your face so calm and void of expression the way you never were. your mother staring at you, trying to memorize your every feature. i remember thinking don't, thats not her at all. i cried uncontrolably. i still do to this day.
i didnt want to come inside to kiss you goodbye. im so bad with goodbyes and i knew you'd understand. besides, i remember not being able to move my legs. i sat under a tree and waited. i remember seeing george crying like a baby behind another tree. we lost george for months after this day. even today i don't know where he was and what he did.
i remember them moving you to the church for the ceremony. i dont remember what the priests said. i remember i had left my sunglasses home and the whole world could see my swollen face. i remember them taking you to your final place. i remember the thumping of the ground on you. i can still feel its weight on my chest to this day. i remember how much it hurt your mother. i asked them to wait till i was gone she said. i remember her friends taking her away.
i remember ricky throwing a party for you that night. i remember thinking that this would trully be the way youd want us all to say goodbye to you. i remember walking in your home and almost collapsing. i remember pano holding me very tightly cause he knew i would. i remember hugging ricky and forcing myself not to cry. i remember all the songs and i remember that pain was almost a person that night, coming to everyone and hugging us with all his strength. i remember i couldnt stay. i remember kissing ricky and leaving, and then collapsing once again on the street. i remember being angry at ricky for not telling me you were dying. i remember all those things i wanted to tell you before you left. i remember wanting to tell you that i love you, that you changed my life, that i owe you so much, that i would do anything to keep you alive. i remember the emptiness i felt. and the anger. and the emptiness.
i don't remember much after that.
but i remember you

A survivor

2007-10-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

Photo a poster by Stephen Morris, taken from www.art.com

The minute he buzzed me in I felt a knot in my stomach. I had done this probably a thousand times, but this one was different. This one was important. This one was serious.

I took the elevator and pressed 6. As the cabin was rising, on its way to the 6th floor, the questions were dancing in my head but I couldn’t decide where to begin. How do you raise a subject like this one, without insulting, hurting, bringing back memories beyond painful?

He was waiting for me by the door. An old man of 81, frail as his age would permit, but still standing poised with a dignity I had never spotted in anyone in the past.

He welcomed me in his home and showed me in his living room. His eyes were the deepest gray I had ever seen. As gray as the photos we see of a time as ugly as humanity itself.

I politely refused his offer of coffee or tea (I did not want to tire him, his wife was not home) and looked for a way to start the discussion. “Ask me anything you want. I feel like I can trust you, so ask away”, he said, sensing my hesitation. “I wouldn’t like to be the one bringing ugly thoughts back into your mind”, I said, completely honest about the way I felt. He smiled, and it was the smile of a man who has seen it all. “It is all in the past”, he said to me. “After all these years, I am not afraid to talk about it”. He lifted his sleeve slightly and showed me his arm. “There is a number etched on my skin that makes me think of it every day, no matter how many years have passed”.

He had been number 115.365 for 3 years. He watched helpless as his mother, father and younger brother burnt in the ovens of Auschwitz. He stood speechless as countless friends, loved ones, acquaintances, neighbors faded away from hunger, malnutrition, illness, eventually gassed to death in the gas chambers and finally stacked in mountains of horror in front of their eyes “to show us what our future was”. He learned of medical experiments done to the person he shared a bed with at the camp, he was beaten to exhaustion, to near death. He learned to live with terror and not succumb to it. “We didn’t pay attention to fear. We learned to recognize it and then ignore it. This is human nature. This is the only way to survive”, he said.

When the doors of the camps opened and they were free to go, he was 18. He weighed 27 kilos (59 pounds). A few months later, doctors removed bone from his leg to add it to his back: it had been destroyed from the beatings.

Today there’s a group of people who question whether the Holocaust ever happened. They claim that it was a Jewish conspiracy to gain the worlds compassion. They claim no Jews ever died during World War II. They claim the concentration camps never existed. They claim that the only thing history can accuse Hitler for is that he started a job he never finished. I met a man who can prove the opposite.

This...

2007-10-19T12:02:00.002-07:00

...is how clueless I am, when it comes to this whole technology thing.

I have no idea how to add people on this page, I have no idea how I am ever going to find my friends from Yahoo, unless THEY find me, or THEY add me, and I really hate being helpless, and i really hate Yahoo for doing this to me: giving me a place to communicate with people, like them, make them a part of my life, make them important to me, make me realise how incredibly and painfully much I will miss them, and then take them the hell away from me!

So
I am warning you all

YOU HAD BETTER FIND ME AND MAKE ME UNDERSTAND HOW TO ADD YOU ALL ON THIS NEW PAGE, OR even better COME DOWN TO GREECE AND ADD YOURSELVES UP IN MY PAGE,
OR ELSE I'LL COME FIND YOU, AND YOU HAVE NOOOOOOOO IDEA WHAT I'M LIKE WHEN I'M PISSED OFF LIKE THIS!

oh, and I also can't seem to be able to upload a stupid photo of me! wtf!

Anyways, that's all

I am so happy that Lionel, and Dana, and Daisy, and Missy and everyone is here! I'd better look up Neddy!

twirling in rainbows

2007-10-19T02:00:00.000-07:00

I started listening the new Radiohead album, knowing in advance that I could never speak one disrespectful word about it. I belong to a generation that loved the band almost from the very first minute (that very first minute for me was late '92, the song "You" out of the Drill EP a friend of mine had brought from the UK just blew me away) and never changed my mind, not when they took a turn with Kid A, or when bashing them became oh so popular, or even when they were away from all musical things for years.
When i heard of the way the album would be sold, i decided i expected nothing less. In a move that's never been done before (at least in this way), the band allowed us, the fans, to download the album from their site, paying for it whatever we wanted, from 0 - 100 pounds. And, because I know you'll ask, yes, it IS possible to download it for 0 pounds, a friend of mine did.
Some, quite smugly, rushed to suppose that the band couldnt get another contract with a record label, after theirs with EMI expired, and the less than satisfactory for their magnitude sales of Hail To The Thief. I refuse to believe that we live in a world where Posh Spice can get a contract and Radiohead can't. If that's the case, there's something more than rotten in the state of musical Denmark.
Nevertheless, huge people like ex Stone Roses singer, Ian Brown, or ex Smiths guitar player, Johnny Marr, seemed to concurr with Radiohead. Marr said "everyone knows they can get the music online, so now let's see if you'll show the band your appreciation", while Brown thought the idea was "fantastic", and said "i'll support anything that can bring the music industry down".
For the time being, I can't stop listening to the new album, In Rainbows. Every time it starts over, I like it a little bit more, which means that, by now, I like it quite a lot. I can't spot any weak songs, the whole album has more than one layers. Listen to it, let it speak into your heart, and it will. If it doesn't, I'm here to talk about it :o)