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I stayed at home today, meaning that I didn't go to work. I called in, not sick, but very tired and worn out.
I'm very happy I can do this with my boss, even though I don't really like my job. The truth is, I'm on antibiotics for, well, something, and they hurt my stomach. Last night I was feeling drunk, even though I haven't drunk in ages... The room was spinning, I couldn't see clearly and my stomach was feeling like a stupid... uhm... I'll say "rock", cause no good word or metaphor comes to mind. I slept few to zero hours last night - Panos, good man, - my boyfriend, for those of you who don't know- refused to stay at his home (we were at his place when it happened, but I couldn't stay there) and drove with me to my place and stayed at my place, even though his (stupid) cat was pissed at him for leaving (I swear, this cat is human, and he hates me!), so I was feeling secure.

To stop everyone right there, before you start saying I'm sick and getting all worried and everything, I'm not sick, I just need to take these antibiotics till Saturday or Sunday for this tiny little unimportant thing I have, and then everything will be better! I just think Augmentin is a bit strong for me, but I'm already better.

I thought I'd work on my Ronda thing today, that I'm at home, but the truth is, it's already noon, and I am still watching stupid shows on TV, my brain is already mushed from watching too much Menegaki (seriously, consider yourselves lucky for not living in Greece and not having the Menegaki option when staying at home) and I don't think I can be creative in any way.
The truth is, I don't really know what to do with my time, once I'm at home, and not at work. When thinking of the prospect of staying at home, I have all these plans for what to do with my day. "I'll do this, I'll write that, I'll shop there, I'll jog here" and all that. When the time comes, I find my ass glued on my couch, I don't even carry my laptop to my desk, so my feet take turns falling asleep from sitting in weird positions, trying to make myself comfortable on a couch I only like sitting and not lying on! I need to be more organized, or I'll never finish my Ronda*.

*yes, my Ronda is a book

I am thinking of doing so many things in the future, that I am sure I won't be doing any. I am still considering L'Aquila, though my initial enthusiasm is kind of fading away... I mean, yes, I do want to get out of here, but how is going to some village in Italy and stopping what I'm doing in order to do something completely different going to help me at all? But I'm considering going to Dublin. Or London. Or even New York (though that would be truly expensive, and I don't want that). Panos said he'd consider going to Chicago with me, if we could find jobs... HEY, ANYONE IN CHICAGO, WE'RE GOOD AT WRITING, AND GREAT ON THE RADIO! ANY JOBS OUT THERE FOR US??
Anyway, I have no idea how to get a job in another country. In Greece it's all about the people you know, and I don't know anyone in Chicago.

The bottom line is, I really need a change in my life. When I was younger, these points in my life were more frequent, and when they came, I'd change boyfriends, jobs, go on trips, completely change my hair, you know the feeling? Well, I like my boyfriend (which is really a first for me!), I don't reaaaaaally want to change my hair, I wish I could find another job, but it's difficult, and I really can't afford to take another course at the NYFA, the last one cost way too much money! Plus, I feel like I can't get myself organized to think of anything, and plan anything, and I need a break from work. I still have 12 vacation days left from last year, but I can't take it yet... And 2 weeks (that's how long that is) is really not enough!

Anyway
Am I ranting?
Was that a rant?
who cares?
I'll let you in on a little secret: I typed more than half of this with my eyes closed!