as you probably guessed...

... i missed him...

I would have quit my fucking job if i didn't need the fucking money... i hate all shitheads in there...
I'm lucky I don't need to punch in though... and that's probably one of the reasons that I haven't quit yet... I'm quick and I'm good at what I do... I do twice the work other people do in half the time and probably twice as good... that makes everyone just dumping work on me, and me just doing it and leaving before everyone else even starts working...
you want to know my secret?

I - Don't - Slack

That's right

If I have to work, I put my head down and get the job done. I won't gossip, I won't have coffee, I won't snack, I won't sneeze or go to the bathroom until everything is perfect.

People ask me "how do you do it?", well, duh, Einstein, I work! When I have three pieces to write, I don't just talk about my weekend with everyone that comes by, then try to catch up on office gossip, then go get me some food, then play some Tetris on my PC and then, at 7 in the afternoon, wonder why everything didn't just materialize on my Word and ask people to help me cause "I have so much work I will never leave the office!"

Buy some brain cells

As you can tell, I'm not in a good mood. The big boss called me in his office last week and gave me more work to be doing on a daily basis. Says he doesn't really trust anyone else with it, but won't relieve me of any of my other duties.. I couldn't really say "no" because everyone knows I'm quick in getting things done, so he would just say "you are not being paid by work volume, but by the hour". which makes me feel kind of stupid, because i was already doing twice the work everyone else does...
What made it worse is that a) I can't go to ballet classes anymore cause I don't have the time anymore, and b) it HAD to be the week Brett Anderson came to play in Athens. Dammit...

Also this week my dad asked me to go have some tests done. You see, my mom had this hormonal condition when she was about 35, i'm not sure what it was, but she got bloated and couldn't have kids anymore... Well, I'm 33 and my dad noticed that I started to get bloated, so he's afraid I may have the same thing, since it's hereditary. I don't really want to go get tested, cause there's nothing that can be done anyways, and if I have it, it means I can't have kids, and gods know i want to have kids, and it will just destroy me.
well, you'll say "and wondering won't?". Who knows? maybe!

Also the iron in my blood has dropped to the floor again, and I should be doing something about this too, cause it brings my depression back to the surface! I'm thinking spirulina, but it smells sooooooo bad!

Also, I got rear- ended this week! Get your minds out of the gutter, geeeeeeez! My car! I turned and there was this girl unparking and she saw me and, instead of stopping to let me pass -cause i was IN the street, she was TRYING to get into the street - accelerated and cut me off, so I had to brake, and the guy behind me was going too fast and was way too close to me, so he just drove his car into mine.
did some damage to my bumper, but that's ok, it's just a car!

I'm glad Lionel is back, cause I was worried! Dude, I hope everything was OK while you were away, why were you away? I'm glad you're back

I'm glad Ned is back too, don't go away again!

And...

Ask no questions, just open up your minds and hearts and trust me. Go here and buy! I've read it and it's great, and by great I mean awesome!

I hope everyone had a great week!

όχι στο όνομά μας

Με αφορμή το πρωτόγνωρο κύμα απεργιών πείνας από τους κρατούμενους στις Ελληνικές φυλακές αλλά και την εγκληματική αποσιώπησή του από τα κυρίαρχα ΜΜΕ, για τη Δημοκρατία και την προάσπιση των βασικών ανθρώπινων δικαιωμάτων καλούμε όλους όσους διατηρούν μπλογκς, διαδικτυακά φόρα και όχι μόνο να δημοσιεύσουν ταυτόχρονα και συντονισμένα στις 20 Νοεμβρίου 2008, ημέρα Πέμπτη, το παρακάτω κείμενο και όλους του χρήστες του διαδικτύου να το υπογράψουν.


Όχι στο Όνομά μας
“Είναι απαράδεκτη η κατάσταση στις ελληνικές φυλακές. Είναι κύριο θέμα η ριζική αλλαγή του σωφρονιστικού συστήματος”.
–Κάρολος Παπούλιας, 6/11/08
“Είμαστε άνθρωποι – κρατούμενοι. Άνθρωποι, λέω”
- Βαγγέλης Πάλλης, Κρατούμενος, 9/11/08

Από τις τρεις Νοεμβρίου μία εκκωφαντική κραυγή συνταράσσει τα θεμέλια της Δημοκρατίας μας. Από τις τρεις Νοεμβρίου σύσσωμοι οι κρατούμενοι όλης της χώρας κατεβαίνουν σε απεργία πείνας διεκδικώντας το αυτονόητο : τη χαμένη τους αξιοπρέπεια. Απέναντί τους αντιμετωπίζουν την εκκωφαντική σιωπή των κραταιών ΜΜΕ και την παντελή αδιαφορία της πολιτικής ηγεσίας. Σε αυτές τις πρακτικές όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο ΔΕ ΣΥΝΑΙΝΟΥΜΕ.
Η κατάσταση στις Ελληνικές φυλακές είναι απερίγραπτη και μπορεί να γίνει κατανοητή μόνο με τη σκληρή γλώσσα των μαθηματικών. Στα κατ’ επίφαση “σωφρονιστικά” ιδρύματα της χώρας έχουν καταγραφεί συνολικά 417 θάνατοι την τελευταία δεκαετία, ενώ ο ρυθμός τους έχει απογειωθεί σε τέτοιο σημείο, ώστε σήμερα να σβήνουν στα χέρια του κράτους τέσσερις άνθρωποι το μήνα. Η πληρότητα αγγίζει το 168% (10.113 κρατούμενοι για 6.019 θέσεις) με την αναλογία χώρου για κάθε άνθρωπο να φτάνει σε περιπτώσεις το 1τμ. Με ημερήσιο κρατικό έξοδο ανά κρατούμενο τα 3,60 Ευρώ τα συσσίτια που παρέχονται είναι άθλια, οι υποδομές θυμίζουν μεσαίωνα και η ιατροφαρμακευτική περίθαλψη είναι ελλιπέστατη. Συγχρόνως, το Ελληνικό δικαστικό σύστημα στέλνει στη φυλακή έναν στους χίλιους κατοίκους της χώρας με τους έγκλειστους χωρίς δίκη (υπό προσωρινή κράτηση) να αγγίζουν το 30% του συνολικού αριθμού των κρατουμένων. Αν η ποιότητα μίας Δημοκρατίας κρίνεται από τις φυλακές της, τότε η Δημοκρατία μας ασθμαίνει. Αν η τιμώρηση παραβατικών συμπεριφορών με εγκλεισμό γίνεται από το κράτος στο όνομα της κοινωνίας, τότε για την κατάσταση στις Ελληνικές φυλακές είμαστε όλοι υπόλογοι, με συντριπτικές όμως ευθύνες να αναλογούν στην κρατική μηχανή. Σε αυτή την πραγματικότητα όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο απαντούμε ΟΧΙ ΣΤΟ ΟΝΟΜΑ ΜΑΣ.
Τα στοιχεία που αποκαλύπτονται από επίσημους φορείς για τις Ελληνικές φυλακές σκιαγραφούν εικόνα κολαστηρίων. Έκθεση της Ευρωπαϊκής Επιτροπής για την Πρόληψη των Βασανιστηρίων (2007) διαπιστώνει βασανιστήρια, απάνθρωπη μεταχείριση και απειλές κατά της ζωής κρατουμένων, σειρά παραβιάσεων αναφορικά με τις συνθήκες κράτησης, ελλείμματα στη διερεύνηση και τιμωρία των ενόχων, αποσιώπηση περιστατικών βίας με την συμπαιγνία ιατρών και φυλάκων, απαράδεκτες συνθήκες ιατρικής περίθαλψης και ιατρικού ελέγχου στους κρατούμενους κλπ. Το Ευρωπαϊκό Δικαστήριο Δικαιωμάτων του Ανθρώπου έχει εκδώσει σειρά καταδικαστικών για την Ελλάδα αποφάσεων που αφορούν κακομεταχείριση ή/και παραβιάσεις άλλων δικαιωμάτων κρατουμένων από σωφρονιστικές αρχές. Η Εθνική Επιτροπή για τα Δικαιώματα του Ανθρώπου έχει πάρει απόφαση - καταπέλτη για τα κακώς κείμενα στις φυλακές, προτείνοντας άμεσες δράσεις για την επίλυση τους. Ο Συνήγορος του Πολίτη διαμαρτύρεται για την παντελή έλλειψη συνεργασίας των αρμόδιων κρατικών φορεών μαζί του, λόγω της οποίας έχει ουσιαστικά απαγορευτεί η είσοδός του στις φυλακές της χώρας τα τελευταία δύο χρόνια. Οι δικηγορικοί σύλλογοι όλης της χώρας, μη κυβερνητικές οργανώσεις, όπως η Διεθνής Αμνηστία, και πολλοί πολιτικοί/κοινωνικοί φορείς καταγγέλλουν την απαράδεκτη κατάσταση και ζητούν ευρύτερη συνεργασία για το ξεπέρασμα του προβλήματος. Αν ανθρώπινα είναι τα δικαιώματα που πρέπει να απολαμβάνει κάθε ανθρώπινο ον, κάθε στέρησή τους στις Ελληνικές φυλακές αποτελεί ανοιχτή πληγή για την κοινωνία μας. Σε αυτή την κατάσταση όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο απαντούμε ΝΑ ΣΠΑΣΕΙ ΕΠΙΤΕΛΟΥΣ ΤΟ ΑΒΑΤΟ ΤΩΝ ΦΥΛΑΚΩΝ.
Με την απεργία πείνας οι κρατούμενοι καταφεύγουν στο τελευταίο οχυρό αντίστασης, που τους έχει απομείνει, το σώμα τους. Είχε προηγηθεί έσχατη έκκλησή τους προ μηνός προς τους ιθύνοντες να ενσκήψουν στο πρόβλημα, καθώς δεν πήγαινε άλλο. Για να λύσουν την απεργία πείνας ζητούν την ικανοποίηση αιτημάτων, που αποκαθιστούν την χαμένη τους αξιοπρέπεια και επανακτούν τα βασικά ανθρώπινα δικαιώματά τους, αιτημάτων συγκεκριμένων, αξιοπρεπών και άμεσα υλοποιήσιμων. Απέναντι στις κινητοποιήσεις των κρατουμένων η πολιτική ηγεσία εξαντλεί τη δράση της σε αδιαφορία, υποσχέσεις και καταστολή των κινημάτων τους. Τυχόν αδιαφορία και αναλγησία της πολιτικής ηγεσίας όμως και σε αυτή τη φάση θα σημαίνει νεκρούς απεργούς πείνας. Στη μετωπική λοιπόν σύγκρουση που επιλέγουν οι κρατούμενοι της χώρας για τη διεκδίκηση των ανθρωπίνως αυτονόητων δε μπορούμε να μένουμε απαθείς σταυρώνοντας τα χέρια και περιμένοντας τις ειδήσεις των θανάτων από τις απεργίες πείνας αλλά θα σταθούμε αλληλέγγυοι. Αν η περιφρούρηση της δημοκρατίας και των ανθρωπίνων δικαιωμάτων επιβάλλουν την επαγρύπνιση όλων μας, τώρα είναι λοιπόν η στιγμή να πάρουμε θέση όλοι απέναντι στο πρόβλημα χωρίς αδιαφορίες και υπεκφυγές.
Απέναντι στην τεταμένη κατάσταση στις φυλακές όλης της χώρας όσοι υπογράφουμε αυτό το κείμενο καθιστούμε την πολιτική ηγεσία απολύτως υπεύθυνη για ό,τι συμβεί και απαιτούμε άμεσα την τόσο θεσμική όσο και στην πράξη ΕΓΓΥΗΣΗ ΤΩΝ ΒΑΣΙΚΩΝ ΑΝΘΡΩΠΙΝΩΝ ΔΙΚΑΙΩΜΑΤΩΝ ΤΩΝ ΚΡΑΤΟΥΜΕΝΩΝ ΟΛΗΣ ΤΗΣ ΧΩΡΑΣ.Την 21η Νοεμβρίου το κείμενο αυτό θα σταλεί σε όλα τα μέλη του κοινοβουλίου και σε όσο το δυνατόν περισσότερους φορείς μέσων μαζικής ενημέρωσης με την προτροπή της αναδημοσίευσής του. Το κείμενο προς αποστολή θα φέρει τους υπερσυνδέσμους (URL) από όλες τις ιστοσελίδες, που το υιοθέτησαν.

cause my writer's block extends all the way to my blog

I blame Daisy for this... And I thank Daisy for this! Either way!

A is for age: 23, and i'll stick to that even under torture (so please, don't try!)

B is for beer choice: Guinness... i love mcfarland too

C is for career right now: Down the toilet... right now, or in a while, either way that's where i'm flushing it soon

D is for your dog's name(s): I never had a dog, but my godparents who lived next door did... they were named Phoevos and Peggy

E is for essential item you use everyday: let me see... what do i use everyday?? i've been staring at this for five minutes now... my car? my blowdryer? the coffee pot?? my laptop? i don't know!

F is for your favorite TV show at the moment: I honestly don't have one! oh! except for Charmed, but that's a rerun

G is for favorite game: Ok, i honestly don't have one... unless you count cards, in which case, biriba

H is for hometown: Thessaloniki, greece... you should visit, it's nice... ONLY for a visit!

I is for instrument you play: OK... I play the piano and sometimes i play with other peoples nerves

J is for favorite juice: apple juice, by far

K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: do NOT get me started! it will be a very long list, it will crash Multiply and that won't be good for anyone!

L is for the last place you ate: Home

M is for marriage: I wouldn't know

N is for your name: I hate my name... when i was little, i exchanged names with a friend. seriously. she took my name and i took hers. didn't work very well, though, cause noone else would get it, and when they called me, she would answer and it was a mess... so we changed back after a couple of days

O is for overnight hospital stays: none... oh except for that time when my dad was in the hospital and that other time... but none for me

P is for people you were with today: too many for my peace of mind

Q is for Quote: uhm... if there's a god, i'd like some proof, like a million dollars in my bank account, or something like that... woody allen said it... it was cute - Panos' addition: I get the best parts in my movies because i sleep with the director - again woody allen

R is for biggest regret: hmmm... not going to athens when asked at a certain time

S is for status: the magazine? never read it

T is for time you woke up today: i don't remember... 7:30? 8?

U is for underwear you have on now: yes i do

V is for vegetable you love: broccoli, don't shoot me

W is for worst habit: eating as much as i do - seriously, i'm unstoppable

X is for x-rays you've had taken: a few, can't count them!

Y is for yummy food you ate today: Panos' spaghetti sauce... it was so good, i ate as much as a four-member family would

Z is for zodiac sign: Sagittarius... so what does this say about me?

Why I'm going to Athens next week

He was singing “ we shake shake shake to the trumpet, and through the slippery city we ride, skyline swine on the circuit, where all the people shake their money in time” and we were dancing. It was the ‘90s, when Suede, with the unique Brett Anderson as their frontman, would pave the way for a movement called “britpop”, a movement that culminated in the years to come and produced names like Damon Albarn’s Blur, Gallagher brothers’ Oasis, even –the already existing but not very successful until that time- Jarvis Cocker’s Pulp.

Come November 20^th, Brett Anderson, older, creative and more attractive than ever, will be in Athens, playing at the Polis Theater. In his suitcase, he carries his second solo album, entitled Wilderness.

He was born on September 29^th of 1967, in West Sussex. According to those who knew him, he spent much of his childhood playing sports and changing hairstyles. His occupation with sports was serious, since for some years he held his school record at 800m. As he had said “it was the only way to avoid being beaten up. All the bullies tended to leave those who did well in sports alone”.

Music was always on his agenda. One of his first jobs was DJing in Manchester clubs. During his teen years, he had formed many bands, like the Pigs (that were the root for the song called “We Are the Pigs”), or Geoff, which he formed along with Mat Osman. During the late ‘80s he formed Suede, along with Mat and his then girlfriend, Justine Frischmann. If you recognize the name, that is because she is the singer of Elastica.

It didn’t take them too long to discover Bernard Butler, through an ad in NME magazine. Butler became an integral and neuralgic part of Suede during the first years.

That was the time, in 1991, when Justine left Brett for Blur’s Damon Albarn. Even though she was still a part of Suede and living with Brett Anderson, Justine would flaunt her relationship with Damon, always be late for rehearsals and never care about the band. That led her to see the exit sign pretty soon, and also caused an early rift in the britpop scene.

Brett always had an idea of how the perfect band should be, and implemented that (with huge success) on Suede. Even before their first record was out, his androgynous style and vague “confessions” about his sexuality stimulated the british music press and brought Suede in the spotlight. In 1993 their record, Suede, climbed at the top of the british charts, while Brett’s style (a little bit of Morrissey combined with a taste of David Bowie’s theatricallity) gave the band immediate acknowledgment and fame.

Success in Europe, of course, did not mean success in the United States too. The grunge air, and the wrath of Kurt Cobain, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, that had covered the country was clashing with Suede’s lyricism. Moreover, the band had to change its name, due to the existence of a folk singer called Suede in the US. That displeased Brett Anderson a lot, and he never wholeheartedly accepted it.

That was the way he accepted the term “britpop” as well. As he confessed, speaking to the Guardian,

“we were never really at the party, and Britpop was like a big party: people slapping one another on the back and getting beery and jingoistic. We could not have been more uninterested in that whole boozy, cartoon-like, fake working-class thing. As soon as we became aware of it, we went away and wrote Dog Man Star. You could not find a less Britpop record. It's tortured, epic, extremely sexual and personal. None of those things apply to Britpop”.

Despite the success that followed, Anderson’s dependence on drugs soon led the band to a compulsory hiatus, in the end of the ‘90s. As he told the Guardian, “in the 90s, I became a bit of a wild boy. I was trying to keep my world together enough to document it. But I always felt that I couldn't document it unless I was in the middle of it. I felt that it would have been patronising to be sitting behind my typewriter, writing about unhinged people, if I wasn't slightly unhinged myself. Although I'm sure that, deep down, it was also a good excuse to take lots of drugs”. In 2003, after their Singles record was released, Suede were disbanded.

In 2004 Brett Anderson formed, along with Bernard Butler, Will Foster, Makoto Sakamoto and Nathan Fisher, the band The Tears, that was met with mixed critique.

On May 2006, he announced the details of a solo album, entitled Brett Anderson, which was released on March 26^th, 2007. This year his second solo album, entitled Wilderness, was released. As he says, in his webpage, “it was one of the most satisfying records i have ever been involved with.it is simple, personal, bleak, raw, romantic and soulful and is full of the jagged edges and hiss and crackle of the studio”.

According to the Guardian, Anderson’s solo work speaks in notes “ the emotional development of a generation: from the flippant nihilism of youth to the stark choices of middle age”.

The night before...

Tonight, five years ago, was the last night you were alive.
You were in terrible pain, and you knew you were dying. You had been crying for months, but in reality you had been crying for years... for a whole lifetime. But we never ever saw it.

I wonder what you were thinking... I know you asked Ricky not to call us and not to tell us, and I am angry at him for not doing so... I so wanted to be there for you, in your final moments. I wanted to always be there for you, I just hadn't realized it until it was too late.

I remember you calling every single day, saying "come visit!" and never did I realize how important it was... not until it was too late.

What were your thoughts? What were you feeling? What does one want and hope for when on a deathbed?
I wonder if you knew how I hoped I could touch you with my hand and share your pain. But I know I could never be as strong as you. How could I? I wonder if you knew how I hoped I could take it all away. I think you did... I just wish I knew it.

Five years ago, tonight, was the last night you were alive. It was the last moon you saw, the last time you counted the stars. The last time you wished you visited Iceland, the last time you listened to music in the dark. The last time you fell asleep to wake up. The last time you had a dream that would end in the morning.

I hope there's no more nights where you are. I hope it's all bright mornings and clear faces. I hope you are in the most beautiful dream. I hope you're singing and dancing in clouds and music. A non stop dance to happiness and truth. And laughter

I hope you are laughing.

I never forget